Fighting for Answers | Author Archives | Page 34David's Father, Author at Fighting for Answers

Failure is an option.

Thinking back to the past couple of months with our son, there have been significant times when I have felt like a failure as a father. You know what? That is okay. Here is why. This, let’s call him our invention, is a human being. A thinking, walking, talking embodiment of all that is wrong with the “drug culture” in our world. Nothing will ever take that part of him away. Even if he wasn’t a product of that culture via his birth mom’s need for a high, he would still be a thinking, walking, talking individual with a brain and a voice. Do you follow me? Unlike Edison’s Invention Factory, this invention can’t be taken back to the drawing board for a redesign. So. Why don’t we accept that some aspect of parenting didn’t work as intended for what ever reason, call it the failure that it was, learn

visited my son tonight

I went to see my son tonight. He wants to know when he can come home from the hospital. Nothing about the other night. When I asked him why he wants to come home, it was all about missing the trip to Bismarck with his mentor that he does once a week. Nothing about the family. No regrets about his behaviors. Just “when can I come home?” I told him that when he starts being honest with himself and the staff there about what is going on, then I would think about it. This afternoon I attended the “Informal Adjustment Conference” to let them know where David is. Talked to the guy for about half an hour about what we have been dealing with. Last night, the psychiatrist recommended placing David in a detention center until the bed is available. Today, I relayed that request to the gentleman at the

Pictures in my mind

Recently a picture that was posted in my Dad Blogger group on facebook triggered a memory from when David was very little. We didn’t know that he would eventually become our son. I was holding David, he had fallen asleep. Before I knew it, I was sleeping. I woke when he fussed. It is a precious memory for me, one that I cherish. It reminds me of how simple life was. Before mental health issues entered the picture. Before he began threatening violence against the family. I don’t know what is in store for my son. I wish that I did. I wish that I could see the future. But I can’t. What I do know. I love my son. I care very deeply about what he is dealing with, and wish that I could erase all of the bad things from his mental life. In the last few days,