mental health Archives - Fighting for Answers

Houdini Part V. – a Six Year Update

Hard to believe it has been six years since I wrote the Houdini/Ronald McDonald posts. You can find the first in the series here. By and large I have been living life. In fact, most of the last six years are documented within the pages of this site. There has been a lot of advocacy work. Learning new things, adapting our parenting style to our sons needs. But life does move on.

Houdini – aka the birth father

In the time that has passed, we have lost the birth father. He died alone. There was no obituary. There was no funeral. It is a sad end to a life. Every life deserves to be celebrated. He was such a “bad” man that no one in the family even knew he died. He has been gone almost 18 months now, and I realize that I have no feelings one way or the other.

Thru the use of ancestry tools, I have tracked some of my bio siblings down. Well, not so much tracked, as that seems rather stalker-like. Let’s say we connected. Lost a couple of them to cancer. Discovered that the family genetics include abnormal liver function, which explains the abnormal liver panels I have had for most of my life. Beyond that, in regards to the birth family, there isn’t much else to say. I don’t have a picture of him, so will use the photo of Houdini instead.

The Uncle

The uncle that I wrote about, you know the one I helped put in jail. He was sick for most of the last five years. Pancreatic cancer because of Agent Orange. I spent as much time with him as I could the last months of his life. We were able to make amends, and apologize to each other for the things we did and didn’t do. It was healing. He passed on in November of 2017.

On being a grandparent

In December I became a grandfather for the first time. Cute little boy. I am not ready to share that part of life with anyone. He deserves as normal a life as he can have. But he is a cute little man who stole his grandpa’s heart.

Marriage and family

My wife and I are coming up on 24 years of marriage. Hard to believe, those two kids – a family. A life together.

I continue to be disabled. My body doesn’t cooperate for very long when I try to work, so I just do the advocacy work for the mental ill as much as I can. It’s not much, but it helps me to feel useful. It’s not the same as an actual job, in some ways it is much more draining, much more rewarding and it gives me purpose.

Words of Wisdom

I don’t have any words of wisdom to share. Mom and I are working on a relationship, and for the most part, it is going very well. We understand that we need time away from contact, and that a good thing for us is the distance between our homes. We talk often. I see her when I can, in fact, Dad and I surprised her for her recent birthday by driving up and having lunch with her and my sisters family. It was a very nice visit and day.

Until next time. I hope you have a great day. Try to mend relationships with family when you can. It’s worth it.

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North Dakota Mental Health Crisis

I am part of the Mental Health Advocacy Network in North Dakota. It is a coalition of advocates and agencies that is working to change the way mental health is viewed. To erase the stigma that comes with being mentally ill.

In this video, it so eerily describes things that mirror what has happened in our family. It could very easily be David’s mother or myself in the role of parent, and David could easily be Garrett. These are real people telling their stories.

North Dakota sponsored an interim study of the mental health study and that report was delivered in 2014. Known as the Schulte Report, it spoke volumes about the crisis in services here. Little has been done to resolve the crisis. We continue to see services cut. We continue to have to fight for care. Parents continue to struggle to help their children. People with mental illness are seeing the inside of the jails more frequently.

Where does North Dakota go from here?

A video about the mental health system in ND and one families struggle.

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Compliance – Continued Medication Issues

We are in week two of David’s not getting his medication as prescribed. Thus, he is out of compliance, though it appears to be a systems issue.

Either give him the medication he was prescribed or tell me how to fix it. It’s not difficult.

Today, I contacted the detention unit, asked to speak to the medical person, and was transferred to him.

When I asked what the issue was, the nurse said “he is not in compliance.”

I asked, if he was refusing to take the medication, and rather than providing me an answer, he said “who is the probation worker?” (I use probation worker as a loose descriptor for the person involved in David’s case.)

I explained who we are working with, and gave the nurse that information, as well as contact information for the worker.

The nurse then said “thank you” and ended the call.

So I called and left a message for the probation worker. I also called our watcher with Social Services. (the person from Social Services who is keeping an eye on the case) Since her voicemail isn’t setup, I had to draft an email. In reality, I don’t mind sending email. I prefer that in a lot of ways because it leaves a trail and lets us hold people to their word. It also allows people to hold me to my word.

Reaching out to the chain of command

We then reached out to the top person at the correction center for youth. The superintendent guy.

He took my call, I explained the issues, explained the steps that I was trying to take to resolve it, and that we had given all new prescriptions that were filled at the pharmacy since they don’t do that for kids in David’s situation. In addition, I explained that David continues to be out of compliance and I couldn’t get anyone to help correct it. As well as, I told him about how it’s been two weeks since David had all of his medication. That you can see the agitation in his body. David isn’t sleeping very well. He for sure isn’t getting the REM sleep that his body needs.

Possible issues related to medication denial

All of this bodes for problems. Tentatively, he is due back in court on Tuesday next. If foster care is the plan, he will have to spend his first month there getting his body attuned to the medication. Same will happen if he goes to residential care, or another facility placement. We will see an increase in behaviors related to his mental illness. He will be easily agitated and angered for no apparent reason. There will need to be an increased vigilance in those who provide his care.

It’s simple really. Either give him the medication he was prescribed or tell me how to fix it. It’s not difficult.

Because medication compliance works two ways. Please get in compliance with the medication that David needs.