Author Archives: David's Father

Mr School Van Driver

Good morning my friends.  Hope this note finds you well.

Yesterday was an excellent day.

This morning, David was in full on mode.  Jumping from topic to topic so quickly that we couldn’t keep up.  In the course of 30 minutes, I bet he talked about 50 different things.  When he is like this there isn’t a lot that we can do except give him his ADHD meds and pray that they take hold before he gets to school.

I imagine that the kids in the van had to tell him many times to stop talking.  Mr School Van Driver, my apologies.  Be happy that you only had to listen to it for 57 miles.

That is all for this morning.  Tonight, if my legs cooperate, David and I are going for a bike ride.  More on that later.

Carl

 

Most Excellent

Today was a most excellent day.  We had a brief tantrum right before bed, but he had a busy day.

We got up.  Had breakfast.

Then.  We started in the garage.  Dug out the mower.  So that he could get started mowing.  While he was mowing where I was planning to work on windows today, I loaded the truck with the tools I needed for the day.  Lunch was an easy snack.  Although he did disappear on occasion to get some light snack.

All the while that mower was running.  He did a really good job, and only missed a couple of spots.  Because he did so well,  I moved some things around so that he could use his basketball hoop.  Only to have him remember that his basketball was deflated, and he had thrown the needle in his fit of rage nearly two weeks ago.  So he had some disappointment.

But he handled it well.

He then helped hold wood I was cutting,  and assisted while I was removing windows, and then putting different ones in.

He ate his supper without complaint, and listened when I told him he needed to be in the house while I visited a friend that stopped by.  He did so without complaint.

Right before bed, he had a fit about his meds, which I won’t pretend to understand, since he was getting his meds at the time.  But we got through it.  I don’t know, maybe he was over-tired for the first time in a while.

He was so tired, he was asleep minutes after his head hit the pillow.

So tonight, as I close these thoughts, remember one thing about your child with attachment disorder.  There is nothing and I mean nothing that says that every day has to be rough and stressful.  Cheers and goodnight.

Frustrated with the Naysayers

I write today, not because I am frustrated with my son.  He isn’t home from school as of yet, and by all accounts he is having a decent day.  In his world, I can never ask for more than that.

I am writing because of the naysayers.

You know who you are. It isn’t just the local ones saying stuff.

Some are kind enough to say things directly to me, others are more catty.  They don’t think that things can get back to people.  I am not here to please any of you.  I am here to raise awareness about mental illness, adoption and family support.

I am doing the best I can with the situation that my family is in.  Is it less than ideal?  Heck yes.  Is there anything that I can do about it that I am not already doing?  Hell no!  I am doing everything in my power to ensure that everyone in his life is as safe as I can have them be.

I can’t force a facility to take him.  I can’t force the local Sheriff to have the deputies follow through with citations when I ask them to cite him as unruly, or with destruction of property.

I don’t know what else to say.

This blog is about David.  Nothing else.  I generalize the other members of our family because it isn’t solely about them.  I have five kids.  Two ladies in college, and three young men at home.  Do I worry about their safety?  Hell yes.  What kind of parent would I be if I didn’t?  The only other two people in the family are mom and I.  That equals seven people.

Last week when David was swinging that shovel, I had the rest of the family locked in the house.  Minus of course the college students, since they were on campus at the time.

Since everyone is an expert, except me, regarding how to parent my son, please feel free to share your thoughts and ideas.  Because honestly, I am flying by the seat of my pants.  With him, what works today will likely NOT work tomorrow.  Some days I have to go back to discipline methods we used when he was three years old.  He is fourteen now.

Is caring for David affecting my health?  Yes, sadly I think that it is.  When we signed up to be parents, it wasn’t as “good time parents”  we signed up to be mom and dad to a little boy who we love, regardless of what our health is, or what his mental health is.  Even when he is in a facility, I don’t stop being his dad.  Just like I don’t stop being a dad to my other boys, or to both girls who have left the nest for college.

With that, how about a prayer for the family?  Because honestly, like our therapist says, “It’s going to get worse before it gets better.”