I have some difficulties. I am so used to being up all night with him that even when he isn’t home, I can’t sleep. Odd, it even happens if I am staying in hotels. There, though, I invariably end up stripping the bed and sleeping on the couch in the room if there is one. When David was in placement for two years, I still had difficulties with sleeping at night. Sucks, wasting perfectly good sleep time by being awake. You know. When I was in the U.S. Army, i could fall asleep as quick as I could shut my truck down. A 15 minute snooze was like an hour or two of sleep. Not so much any more, and maybe that is starting to affect my health in different ways. Not sure. Ah well. Today is a good day. Tonight I will get to visit David. I miss him.
David came into our lives before we even considered adoption. In fact, we originally were going to do foster care for kids like David. This was long before we knew about the mental health issues that he has been diagnosed with. He was special needs because of the way he was born, addicted to drugs. And because of his race. He was special to us because he was loveable. He had a smile as bright as the sun and a ready laugh. We had an in home daycare at the time, and occasionally did day care for his foster family. If you look at pictures from his first birthday, we are there. Our whole family was. When our home study was completed, we were told that we were approved for adoption and shown a portfolio of children that were available in our state. Kids of all ages. We had been
This post isn’t so much about David as it is about me. See for a long time, David was in a safe place. A place where I didn’t have to worry as much. I could get the weekly reports, I could talk to David, I would take the interceding calls, that told me of some event in his life, and quarterly, i would make the 7 hour drive to see him. Now, he is home. And even periods of what should be periods of deep sleep are interrupted by concern over what he is doing. What he is into. Where he is. If he speaks, even if it is another room, chances are good I will hear it. This isn’t healthy. Yesterday, I told David to stay within sight of the back door. Mom came home and he wrangled the opportunity to go to the neighbor’s house. He stayed for