Author Archives: David's Father

Hide and Seek – or I tell no lies.

DSCF2182_v1“David… David.. David..

Tomorrow is a brand new day.  Maybe we can try telling the truth.”

Until 6pm, we had a good day going.  Then when I went to call David in for the night, he was not where I could see him.  He didn’t respond to my calls of his name.  So I went looking for him.  He claimed that he was feeding our dog Max and playing with him.  I know this because he came around the side of the house as I pulled out of the drive way.

He wasn’t where Max is, I checked there.

So he “finished watering Max” as he was carrying out a pitcher of water, he turned and asked if I had called for him.  I replied with “go, go, go,” meaning he should finish watering Max. Fifteen minutes later, I went looking for him.  No where to be found.

So I got in the van and went looking for him.  Sure enough, he was down the street, where he should have been able to hear me calling his name, where he didn’t have permission to be…

So he didn’t understand why I was disappointed.  Every time I brought it up, he argued with me.  Finally, I stopped talking.

I tried to explain that in our community, people know he has a history of stealing.  I said, “if I know where you are, I can defend you against accusations.”

So he had to argue about that too.  Claimed the NAPA man was standing out on the street giving away calendars.

While I was at the play production that our other two boys were doing with their school, David decided to hid his medicine kit.  Which until now was stored in a canvas bag.  That will change as soon as I can get the money to mount a lock box on a wall that we can store medicine in.  We searched the house unsuccessfully.  Every where except the pile of fabric next to my sewing machine in the living room.

Within minutes of asking David to help find it; he up until this point, vehemently denied knowing where it was, found it.  Said “I don’t know how it got there.”

So now he has been medicated, and is in bed.  We told him that if we didn’t give him his medicines tonight, then I was sure I could arrange a stay at the hospital where they would be sure to give him his medicine.

The key to Davids lying.  He lies about every thing.  He does it so well, that he can convince others that what he is saying is true.  He doesn’t understand why I don’t automatically believe every thing that he says.

As I tucked him in for the night, I said

“David… David.. David..

Tomorrow is a brand new day.  Maybe we can try telling the truth.”

I pray that he does, but you will have to excuse me if I don’t hold my breath waiting.  Is the need to lie pathological?  He does it instinctively, and honestly I don’t know if understands the difference between lies and reality.

a quiet celebration

dscf1219-300x224Although most days are not without their small skirmishes, the past couple of days have been really good for David.  Or I should say David has been really good.

Sure, he is :

  1. Argumentative
  2. moody
  3. disruptive
  4. demanding
  5. silent
  6. verbose
  7. frustrating

But he has also been

  1. helpful
  2. kind
  3. thoughtful
  4. respectful
  5. friendly
  6. playful
  7. cuddly (with the pets not any humans)
  8. energetic

So let’s celebrate the small successes.  He is after all 13 years old.  And full of all kinds of hormones in addition to the mental health issues he has.

the storyteller

Vintage BooksDavid is gifted.

Gifted at telling stories, then when caught in a lie, he is gifted at changing the story to suit what ever is going on in his head.

When caught in a lie, he will turn and twist the story enough to make the listener doubt what they heard.

If this happens, you need to get him to stop talking, make sure that you write down the conversation as best you can remember, then ask him to confirm details.

David fails to realize that eventually the truth always comes out.

Why not just tell the truth to begin with?  I have no idea.

It gets more difficult to keep the story straight when details can be confirmed by calling the people he claims did things, or are doing things on his behalf.

So now we wait for confirmation.

Remember, you can only believe about 40% of what David says, and that is me being generous.

In the end, we talk about how it is easier to tell the truth from the beginning.  And he admits that he left his school binder in the van.

To me, it is not a big deal that he left the binder in the van.  The lesson that I wish that he would learn is that the truth is always best.  Always!