The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Author Archives: David's Father

when the boys grows up.

I am proud of all of my kids.

My bride and I have five children, two girls and three boys.  The girls have been driving for a while now.

Today my two oldest boys started behind the wheel.  That long dreaded day for any parent, and long dreamed of day for the teen.

The oldest has had to fight for everything he has.  He struggled to eat as an infant because of a cleft palette.  He struggled to walk.  He struggled to talk.  He struggles to learn things that come so much easier to his peers.

Today, he told me that he is nervous about driving.

My instructions to both boys, since they are partners this week in Behind the Wheel, was that they needed to be considerate of each others skills.  They need to remember that they both have strengths and weaknesses.  And that they should be complementary, rather than negative in their observations of each others driving abilities.  No one masters driving the first day.

Knowing his brother, he memorized the instruction manual from the state already and is ensuring that everyone in the car is following the letter of the law verbatim.

English: Two AMC Hornets by the lake shore in ...I remember my first driving experiment.  Dad let us drive his AMC Hornet.  The next vehicle I drove was a 2 and half ton grain truck.  Nothing like trial by fire.   I think that times were simpler then.

Honestly, I couldn’t be prouder of any of my kids.  They continue to amaze me with their intellect and abilities.  Their dreams, and wishes.

 

 

 

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PRTF placement update.

David was away from his residential Psychiatric Residential Treatment Facility.  He was undergoing a med wash at another facility in our state.  Since David is a special needs child, and was a special needs adoption to begin with, he is covered by Medicaid until he turns 18.  In order to be placed in a facility, something called a certificate of need (CON) is generated periodically.  Typically, 90 days.  David’s latest CON is for 30 days.
Why?
Because while David was away from the facility we didn’t undergo family therapy.
David has a number of diagnoses, including Reactive Attachment Disorder.
Because of David’s birth history and prenatal care, he has a tolerance for medications.  He builds up a tolerance very quickly.  Any med will only be good for about six months.   We learned this through experience, and explained this to the staff at the facility where he resides.
As I stated, David’s most recent CON is approved for 30 days. Because we haven’t done family therapy. yeah… the CON people want to know if we have a plan in place to move him to another facility. Don’t they still need to generate a CON for that?  Yes.
The CON allows for placement and bills to be paid.
The nearest facility is over 400 miles from our home.  How does moving a child with numerous psychiatric issues, nearly 500 miles help him?
Especially when the bill is paid by the state either way?
Are we upset?  Yes, I would say so.

The Colfax at Auraria light rail station in De...

The Colfax at Auraria light rail station in Denver, Colorado (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We are working on finding the funding necessary to travel to two separate facilities to tour those facilities in the event that we have to place David in one of them.  The first is in South Central Montana.  The second is in Denver, Colorado.

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Facing the unknown.

In our house, we have children with special needs.

How do you talk to them about the unknown?
Mom is looking at the possibility of getting a different job.  If that happens, she would be living in a different city four days a week.  Through the school year.  This would be a huge adjustment for our family.

We talked with most of the kids about the possibility today, and while they didn’t welcome the news, the did express dissatisfaction with the idea.

There are hugs benefits to a change.  Medical benefits for one.  I am on disability, and not earning a lot.  So it is mostly her income that keeps us afloat.  Medical bills, Medicare doesn’t cover everything.

With the boys, being in a larger city, as opposed to our small town would be of benefit to our boys.  More opportunities for learning, more opportunities for community based supports.

What to do?