Mental Health - Child Archives - Page 4 of 122

Admitting the horror

It has come to our attention that David has admitted to trying to kill animals with his hands, and with chemicals. I don’t fault David for admitting the horror that he has tried. I don’t fault him for it, it is a symptom of his mental illnesses.

Last year he attacked me more than once and tried to crash our vehicle when we were doing a transport of him to the mental health unit at the hospital. Given that he has admitted these things, and our family has experienced the things that we have from him, why would I just bring him home?

He is my son. And I love him. But.

But he is not the only person to take into consideration. Would it not be considered neglect or abuse to subject the rest of the family to a threat of harm from David? He has shown the propensity to attack in the past, I don’t think for a minute that he is cured either minimally or substantially.

I can’t. I will argue long and hard to keep him in care. As much as reunification should happen, without the support he is receiving in the facility, at home, I just think that this will be a setback for the whole family, most of all it will be a setback for David. How is that fair? Granted, life isn’t fair.

This isn’t the first time that I have thought this. The thought that discharge home would be a setback. I have thought that a number of times over the last 6 years.

So where does this leave us? Potentially, his mom’s teaching license could be in jeopardy. If we are charged with abandonment or something like that for not bringing him home, it could jeopardize her license. On the other hand, David’s story telling about things that he hears and then internalizes as something that happened in our home could be detrimental as well.

An argument could be made that he was telling stories about trying to kill dogs and rabbits, if not for the fact that people have made allegations about him trying to kill their animals before. Plus, we had long known that he tried to poison our dogs, but could never get him to admit it.

It scares me what the future means for David. How do we as a family get past this fear or horror and bring this child we love back home? Is it even possible? It goes beyond the needs of one child.

I was leery about writing about his admission regarding the animals and his attempts to kill them. We do not know if he has ever been successful in doing so. In the end, I decided that awareness of mental health and the issues that families face was more important.

We are begging for help. In the coming week, I will have the opportunity to speak with our state legislature’s Interim Human Services Committee. I hope that they listen.

Tweet #fighting4answrs

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder Eval

David and I are traveling six hours tomorrow to get him evaluated for Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. This is a second opinion. At 15, he likely will not be able to get any services for the diagnosis.

But like I have said in the past, I don’t want anyone to say we haven’t tried to do everything that we can for him.

I made arrangements to pick up from the residential facility where he lives. I purposely didn’t tell him, and I told the staff that we weren’t going to tell him. He obsesses about things. So why cause him stress unnecessarily?

Guess what? Someone told him what was going on tomorrow. It isn’t the end of the world for me that he knows, but you would think his world is ending. I have talked to him more since Friday than I have talked to him in the last three weeks. I love that he reaches out to us, but don’t want this to be the only reason he does so.

I am not moving him to another facility, this is his second facility in a year, it is supposed to be a transition to home, a step down facility. He moved there a couple of weeks ago. During intake, they told him he would likely be home in six months.

This is not for them to decide all by themselves. That is a team decision, and will be addressed in team later this week. More on that later.

How hard is it for professionals to understand that parents have some idea of what their kids are like? Even if they are in a facility?

The frustration

I am frustrated that the professionals in these facilities don’t hear me. If they don’t hear me, how are parents who don’t know how to make themselves heard able to get their points or concerns across to the professionals?

My bet is that they don’t. I find that troubling indeed. So what can be done about it? How do we change it? This isn’t the 1800’s where parents put their kid in a facility and walk away. Heck this isn’t the mid 20th century.

Tweet #fighting4answrs

Pending Change of Placement

Change of Placement.What happens if…

David has been in a facility placement since October of 2015. Now he is nearing the end of his time at the current facility. Plans are to transition to another facility when a bed is available.

We wanted him to finish out the current school year in his current placement. So placement change will come in the next 6 weeks or so.

Interesting enough, his certificate of need (insurance authorization) expires at the same time. So this post is a what happens if… or How can Change of Placement be successful if options aren’t available?

What happens if a bed is not available and the certificate of need is denied?

The next placement is a step down from his current facility in an effort to ultimately return David to our family home. At present, while we have had successful day passes, no one in the family feels comfortable with the idea of bringing him home yet. And in reality, the last time placement ended abruptly without transition, things went very badly. It took a lot of tears, anger and frustration to get him back into care.

He does well in care, actually thrives in care. Even he is leery about leaving facility based care, which says something about how he is responding to his own situation.

So what happens if there is no where for him to go? We do have an alternate funding source already lined up for the step down facility. So that is not the issue, but if a bed is not available and the certificate of need is denied, we could be looking at another trip through 2015.

We, and I include David in this blanket statement, want the success that he is experiencing, real or imagined success, and we can’t do that without transition.

We are worried about what this means for Davids continued mental health. We can see success and/or failure depending on what happens next.