The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Category Archives: antisocial personality disorder

Second Guesses

Second Guesses

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Port and lighthouse overnight storm with lightning in Port-la-Nouvelle ~ Maxime Raynal

It’s been a long day, and while my body is tired, I can’t turn off my brain. 

   Prison is no place to get mental health care.

See, This is the second time in a month we have had David’s time in the facility extended.  While we both knew it was a possibility, I can’t help but feel that he is being let down.  I mean, it’s a huge victory for him to continue where he is successful until we can get supports in place for him to come out of the facility, but it’s not easy. In hindsight, I really don’t think David will see it as a victory, at least not until many years down the road.  But it is a victory for him.  For his care.

It’s not easy to tell your child, “You can’t come home yet.”  Even if they know and claim to understand the why of it.  David understands that in order to be successful he needs supports.

I don’t know.  Maybe it is just the Dad’s job to always strive for what’s best for his kids.  David is safe, and that’s what matters.

The future is unknown.  I don’t know how long it is going to take to get the supports necessary in place, but I do know that we aren’t giving up.  We will continue to fight for what David needs in order for him to live a productive life outside of a facility.  Because if we don’t, he will likely just end up in prison.

Prison is no place to get mental health care.

I have not talked with staff in the facility.  They haven’t contacted me.  I did talk briefly with his therapist today, but beyond that, nothing.  To say that our relationship with the facility staff is contentious, would be an understatement.  But, we will continue to work with them to provide David the best life possible until such time as he can leave the facility and enjoy success in whatever form it takes for him.

So I am left with Second Guesses.  It’s not the first time.  I am sure it won’t be the last.

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Taking a Chance on Faith

English: "Faith" and "Hope"

English: “Faith” and “Hope” in stained glass, Llandenny church (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

With a lot of prayer, we are going to try a visit away from the safety and comfort that being in close proximity to the facility provides us.  This is about taking a chance.

We are going to take a chance on faith that he is stable.  This weekend, we are going to travel to the city to get David and take him for a 6 hour pass.  That pass isn’t going to bring him home.  Rather we are traveling to see his sister and give her some things that she forgot when she was home for Easter from college.

A chance.

I don’t know what we are going to feel.  I don’t know how to feel about this.  I just know that with deep prayer and meditation we are going to try.  David had a rough day yesterday and hit one of his peers, so I am under no illusions that we will see perfect behavior.  I’d settle for him just being an average teenager.  It’s a chance that we are willingly going to take.

I don’t know if this will bring him closer to coming home or not.  This is about a chance.

A chance for hope.

I am putting my faith in the people who have been helping him through this difficult period in his life.  Are we wrong to have hope?

Whether you are a person of faith, a believer in strong positive thoughts, or someone who prefers not to share how they feel, please keep us in your thoughts.  Pray that we have a good family visit this weekend.  That our time together will begin the process of repairing the damage his behaviors and our reactions to them have caused, caused a rift to develop in our home.  He deserves better from us, and we deserve better from ourselves and from him.

I have to believe that he is meant for more than this.  And that through our trials, we are also meant for more.

Thank you.

 

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It was all a lie

10-inconvenienceDavid wants desperately to be trusted.  He wants us to believe him.

On Friday, he came home from school all excited because he was voted onto the student council at his school.

Today, he informs us that it was all a lie.  Nothing was true.

So i have confirmation emails going out to his school.

I want to believe him, but if he will lie about something as innocuous as student council, what else will he lie about?

Since the therapist left, he has been slowly degrading in his mental state.  Behaviors are increasing.  Not sure what that is about.  The therapist did take him for a walk, and according to him, was asking if he had any concerns about living at home.

I want to believe what he says, but it is difficult.

Soon, he will be in bed, asleep and we can start a new day tomorrow.

Wish him luck.