bipolar Archives - Page 11 of 83 - Fighting for Answers

update – positive news

Staff called tonight.

David was in a good place to talk to me tonight. When he is manic, it just isn’t a good idea.

David addressed his concerns.

Doesn’t want to be there for another 6 months to a year.
Thinks that he is being lied to.
Doesn’t understand why we aren’t coming out for Christmas.
Wants a Nintendo DS for Christmas.

In truth. Before David can come home, not only does he need to work his treatment plan, but he also needs to avoid outbursts, and learn to identify when he is starting a manic episode if he can.

In addition to that, before he can come home, there needs to exist, a residence that is similar to the facility he is in currently. One that will provide him a step-down or transition to home. A place from where we can stage home visits. Where he can eventually be returned to public school. Which will also mean getting his home school district involved, and get them to a point where they are comfortable with him in their facility. Let’s face it, if they aren’t comfortable with him being there, things are just going to go right back where they were.

I explained each of these things to him. I also explained them to his staff. His time there is determined by two things. One which he can control to an extent, and one he can not.

In the coming months, I plan to approach my legislators to see if funding can be available to establish a residence hall in one of the facilities in our state for kids like David. Kids who are out of state, in care, and need a facility from which to transition either home, or to a group home or less restrictive environment.

This is my mission in life. We didn’t ask for him to be placed 500 miles from home. He is there, because there were no other viable options.

Tweet #fighting4answrs

Home sweet home, again.

1176 miles.

From home, to the residential facility and back again. 4 days.

The thing about driving. It gives a person a lot of time to think. Ruminations about fatherhood, about things that a person might have done differently for David.

I keep coming back to one inalienable truth.

We did what we had to do. Not just for David. But for the whole family. No one should live in constant fear from a loved one. Forcing the whole family to live in such a way, at least in my mind, is a form of psychological torture. I include David.

David didn’t deserve to be constantly in trouble, constantly talked down to, or treated meanly because of his behaviors. Sure they were relentless. Sure they hurt, but they were a symptom of a larger problem.

I pray that the David I spent the last couple of days with continues to grow and develop. Regardless, he is still our son and brother. He is deserving of as positive a life as he can develop. We can’t force him to make changes in his life, we can give him the tools necessary to develop those changes for himself.

I see how much more relaxed our older boys are without the constant pressure to be aware of where David is, and what he is doing. I saw the same with our girls when they were home from college for Thanksgiving. I see it in my bride. And I know I feel it in myself.

For someone with auto-immune disease such as Lupus, a trip like this is hard on the body. There are financial reasons why we can’t go see him more often, but the largest reason is physical. My body just can’t take the travel like it used to when I was in the Army. Where I could drive 1800 miles in a shot without stopping for more than restrooms, gas and food.

Already planning for my next chance to see David. Hopefully in January. One of the things I want to work on in the new year is the development of an Autism unit at one of the residential facilities in North Dakota. This will let us bring David closer to home.

Tweet #fighting4answrs