Visited David today. He changed his story about my weed eater 3 times. So now we have a possible location for it. He got mom so frustrated that she moved away from the table. Everything is blamed on some one else. His forging of the check happened because we don’t give him an allowance. Never mind that he doesn’t do anything to earn an allowance. His theft of some items is because we don’t give him any money. Some neighbor game him 50 dollars to purchase a spark plug, and a spark plug tool. I asked about the remaining funds, and he said that the spark plug cost all of the money to buy. We also learned of some of the places that are easy to steal from. So I will be stopping at those stores tomorrow and talking with the owners. I told David that it is his destiny
Well. Just got off the phone with a social worker from the hospital where David is. I had to explain what “the boys hide in their rooms to feel safe from David” means. David told staff that he tells me things like “if you like, I can stab you with a knife” because he thinks that is what I want to hear. Why would I “want” to hear something like that? If he tells me things that he thinks I want to hear, wouldn’t it stand to reason that he would do the same thing in the mental health unit? Don’t get me wrong, we have and have had some pretty incredible social workers helping with David’s care. But once in a while… you have to wonder. The social worker repeatedly informed me that they are an acute care facility and that we should make more use of the safe
I cried today. I cried while mowing my lawn. Mowing gives you time to think. The drone of the mower is perfect for masking thoughts, for allowing them a fertile breeding ground. I cried for David. For the little boy who wants so desperately to be loved, yet pushes away and punishes those who love him most, his family. I cried for the hope that is diminishing a little each day. A hope that he will see that what he is doing is wrong, and the way he treats people is wrong. I cried out in prayer. Something that I do everyday. Pray. Does God hear my prayers? I believe that he does. I believe that David was brought into our lives for a reason. Ours is not to question why. Yet we struggle daily with his behaviors, his attitude, the words he says, the things he does. We struggle.