What do you do when you need to balance the mental illness of one child against the wellness of a whole family? Do you allow the mentally ill and potentially very violent child to return home? Or do you push for another residential placement?
David and I are traveling six hours tomorrow to get him evaluated for Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. This is a second opinion. At 15, he likely will not be able to get any services for the diagnosis. But like I have said in the past, I don’t want anyone to say we haven’t tried to do everything that we can for him. I made arrangements to pick up from the residential facility where he lives. I purposely didn’t tell him, and I told the staff that we weren’t going to tell him. He obsesses about things. So why cause him stress unnecessarily? Guess what? Someone told him what was going on tomorrow. It isn’t the end of the world for me that he knows, but you would think his world is ending. I have talked to him more since Friday than I have talked to him in the last three
When we adopted our youngest, we did an adoption study. We had to write a bio and answer a ton of questions. Growing up, I had step-dad’s. My brother and I were adopted. Bio-Dad was in prison. Mom doesn’t acknowledge that period of her life. For those Dad’s who played a role in my life, I salute you. Dad, the one who gave us his name, wasn’t around, he was busy with his new family. I was 11 when I was raped by one of the bastards that I refer to as step-dad. I never spoke about it at the time. He regularly beat my brother and I. More so my brother than I, but I can remember seeing him throw my brother thru a wall. I had two favorite step-dads. One was a pro-golfer and never around in the summer time. Mom left him.