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Just say No to Black Friday

I don’t know.  It seems to me that we are losing something in the holiday season.  I remember as a kid, not having the most expensive toys, not having all of the latest toys and not having my mom or dad in traction because they ventured into the madness that is known as Black Friday.  (The first official day of Christmas shopping.)  In our house, we know it as the day after Thanksgiving where we give Thanks for all that we have.

What are we losing?

I would argue that Christmas Shopping Season actually starts before Halloween.  Maybe we are being desensitized to the real reason for the season.  Every society celebrates this season differently.  I would try to list all of the major religions and the methods of celebration, or way they recognize the season, but the list would likely be incomplete.

trampledWhen we raise our kids to understand that “must have” mentality at the expense of self or family, they are missing something important.  Toys, gadgets and trinkets can never replace family.  That television that you bought on Black Friday because you sat in line for three weeks at Best Buy… was it really worth all of that?  I bet I can get the same deal elsewhere, a month from now.  And I can do it online from my home computer.

Sure it is an adventure to go out for Black Friday shopping excursions.  But it is also inherently dangerous.  Every year we read news reports of people being trampled, hurt and or killed trying to get through the doors of Walmart.  How long will it be before someone comes to Black Friday and starts shooting because they didn’t get the last television?  oh wait, that happened last year in Las Vegas. 

I for one, will enjoy a restful slumber in my warm and comfortable home surrounded by my loved ones.  Good luck getting that television.   I will just say no.  Take back the Christmas Season.

Read the following link for one shopping malls directive to all stores regarding Thanksgiving.  Profit before family.  We ought to be ashamed of ourselves.

Memo surfaces ordering mall retailers to open Thanksgiving night.

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Medicaid Redux – Needs to be seen by an in-state practitioner

Dear readers, many of you may remember a number of months ago when I discussed the termination of David’s Court Ordered Medicaid.  After many emails and phone calls that situation was corrected, however with a limitation.  Because David is in an out of state placement, he is considered as living independent of the family.  Doesn’t matter that he is 13.  He is responsible for paying almost 1000 a month toward his care.  This is called recipient liability.

Today, David’s mom learned that Medicaid is refusing to pay for dental and vision exams.  Why?  Because he has to be seen by an in-state provider.

Can ND Medicaid possibly mess up anything else?  David didn’t ask to be placed there, we didn’t ask for all in-state facilities to refuse admission, leaving us no choice but to go out of state.

 

Desperate Act: Mom Accused of Trying to Kill Autistic Daughter – NBC News.com

Desperate Act: Mom Accused of Trying to Kill Autistic Daughter – NBC News.com.

By now, just about everyone in the Autism community has heard about this situation.  I have deliberately held off on commenting so that I could process my own feelings about this.

I help support a number of families through various groups on facebook, and in my home state.  I wish that I could say that the events leading up to the incident in September 2013 were unique to the Stapleton family.  Sadly, I can not.

Our David is a lot younger than the Stapleton daughter.  Sure he isn’t quite as developed physically, but let me tell you, strength in a person with uncontrolled rage is an incredible thing.  Words can not begin to describe how powerful these children are.

There were times when David would come out of his rage and not have any memories of the incident.  Attacking teachers, parents, siblings and even pets.  Everyone was fair game to him.

Have I ever thought of the solution that Mrs. Stapleton attempted?  No.  I have not.  We cried out for help, and lucky enough that call was answered.  In our struggles with our school district, they saw that we needed help.  That David needed help.

Would I like for him to return home and attend our community school again?  Yes.  However I am a realist.  Sure David has made great progress in his treatment program, I am proud of him every day.  But…

But, he has made progress in two other facilities before this one.  I wish that things could be different for David.  I wish that I could keep the loveable child without the underlying behaviors.  However.  By placing David in a psychiatric residential treatment facility, we are ensuring the safety of our whole family.  Including David.

It is not easy to ask for help.  It is not easy to say we can’t do it any more.  I know this first hand, caring for David, with help from mom almost killed me the last summer that he was home.  It wasn’t suicide.  I was so drained physically and emotionally that I truly had nothing left to give David.

Our family is slowly healing.  You can’t undo that level of damage over night.  We do this with laughter, love and kindness.  We also have an incredibly supportive network of friends.

For the record, I don’t condone Mrs. Stapleton for what she attempted to do.  She will likely spend a long time in prison getting over the trauma.  And that is what it is, trauma.  I hope that her family, gets the help and support that they desperately need.

In the end, awareness isn’t enough.  Families need long-term support.  When the risk of working with people and an Autism Help Me. VTda.infodiagnosis is dangerous, and potentially very dangerous who wants to work with that family?  Honestly?  Very few people.

When we placed David in his current facility we had to go outside of our state to find the help he needs.  This limits the amount of interaction that we have with David to phone calls and in-person visits every couple of months.

Families need help before they feel like the only way is to removal of the child from their life.  You can’t just erase a life and hope everything is better.

~ Carl