What is it like to live in fear? Having never lived in a war zone, or been active in a war zone, I can’t say that our experience compares to that. What I can say is this. Living day to day on edge constantly because you don’t know from one minute to the next what your child is going to do, whether or not they are going to explode in anger, assault you, throw themselves at the wall, steal things, or try to kill the family pets will take a huge toll on you. If he is angry enough to carve on himself, to then reach into that wound and make the wound larger by tearing his own flesh with his own hands, what is he capable of doing to someone else? When a child can easily go 48 hours without sleep, it takes a toll. When you have chronic
David. Fixates on things. So when he asked about discharge from the facility he is in, I explained that before he could be discharged, a facility needed to be identified and either restructured or added on to, in order to house a child with Autism. Evidently he is under the belief that he is being discharged. And discharged to a specific place. Since I listed a number of facilities that could potentially be adapted for the needs of kids with Autism, he decided the one he is going to. Hate to burst his bubble, but unless things have drastically changed in the state of North Dakota’s mental health institutions, he isn’t coming home soon. Much as I want him home, it would likely be a huge step back for him to come straight home from his current facility. How do I know this? Simple history. It has happened before.
Since David’s placement I have experieced something of an identity crisis. For a long time our lives were all about him. David did this. David did that. David needs to see his psychiatrist. David needs a different med. David assaulted so and so. David poisoned the dog. David took. Somedays I am lost without him getting into things and causing trouble. Other days I am so very thankful for the residential placement that he is in now. Today we are staffing David at the residential faciility. Maybe Tweet #fighting4answrs