The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Category Archives: honest answers

Listening to a Parrot.

Yellow naped amazon parrot left side

Yellow naped amazon parrot left side

Ever have the distinct realization that the words coming from your child’s mouth aren’t really his? That you are hearing the parroted version of what others have said? Much like listening to a parrot.

Not that he has multiple personalities or anything.

We had a meeting today, and while we heard from David, it felt forced.  Like he was saying what needed to be said, and not what was actually on his mind.

Follow me?

He used lots of “feeling” words, and that isn’t him.  He didn’t magically grow empathy.  The brain doesn’t work like that.

Leopards Spots

I love my son.  But.  Don’t try to change the leopards spots.  All it does is piss off the cat.

There is a reality that we live in.  As much as we would love to have our son back, it can’t happen without safety.  It can’t happen without him taking ownership of his behaviors.  Consequently, a lot of fancy feeling words and thoughts that make him sound like a therapist just aren’t the solution.

Finally, what goal is achieved by teaching kids a bunch of “feel good” words that they can then just repeat back with the appropriate cues and/or prompting from someone in a position of authority?  This is not to say that the work being done there isn’t valid.  I am just wondering about the validity with my David.  There might have been a time in the past when it would have worked with him, but I think that we are beyond that.  He knows too much about how to game the system to achieve the goals he has in his mind.  Goals we will never be able to comprehend if we live to be 100 years old.

Therefore, a reason exists for everything that he does.   Every action has a goal and purpose.

And so, don’t try to change the leopards spots. All it does is piss off the cat.  Much like listening to a parrot, it has no real purpose.

visited my son tonight

I went to see my son tonight. He wants to know when he can come home from the hospital.  home-page-slide-1

Nothing about the other night.  When I asked him why he wants to come home, it was all about missing the trip to Bismarck with his mentor that he does once a week.

Nothing about the family.  No regrets about his behaviors.  Just “when can I come home?”

I told him that when he starts being honest with himself and the staff there about what is going on, then I would think about it.

This afternoon I attended the “Informal Adjustment Conference” to let them know where David is.  Talked to the guy for about half an hour about what we have been dealing with.

Last night, the psychiatrist recommended placing David in a detention center until the bed is available.  Today, I relayed that request to the gentleman at the conference and he said that it wasn’t a good idea, and couldn’t be done without the commission of a “serious” crime. The events of Tuesday night aren’t serious enough.

That is all for now.  I wonder if the social worker from the hospital will call tomorrow and tell me to come and get him.

Reactive Attachment Disorder – a diagnosis

Turns out, all this time I thought that David was diagnosed with RAD.  Nope.

Well he is now.  Frustrating when people remove and add diagnoses without letting the family know.

He has Autism, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar, AdHd,  and quite a few others.  Reactive Attachment Disorder *RAD” is now one of his Axis I diagnoses.

Received a referral to a child therapist.

Received a referral to a Social Skills Play Group.

The psychiatrist said “boy, he does talk a lot… when did that start?”
My response was “he has been like this since the day he came home.

Follow up every 30 days for the next while.

One other thing of importance.  He is in the lower 18 percentile, for his weight.  this means that for his age and height, 82% of the population is more inline with the standard then he is.

oh and he is at risk of becoming a cutter.