Ever have the distinct realization that the words coming from your child’s mouth aren’t really his? That you are hearing the parroted version of what others have said? Much like listening to a parrot.
Not that he has multiple personalities or anything.
We had a meeting today, and while we heard from David, it felt forced. Like he was saying what needed to be said, and not what was actually on his mind.
He used lots of “feeling” words, and that isn’t him. He didn’t magically grow empathy. The brain doesn’t work like that.
I love my son. But. Don’t try to change the leopards spots. All it does is piss off the cat.
There is a reality that we live in. As much as we would love to have our son back, it can’t happen without safety. It can’t happen without him taking ownership of his behaviors. Consequently, a lot of fancy feeling words and thoughts that make him sound like a therapist just aren’t the solution.
Finally, what goal is achieved by teaching kids a bunch of “feel good” words that they can then just repeat back with the appropriate cues and/or prompting from someone in a position of authority? This is not to say that the work being done there isn’t valid. I am just wondering about the validity with my David. There might have been a time in the past when it would have worked with him, but I think that we are beyond that. He knows too much about how to game the system to achieve the goals he has in his mind. Goals we will never be able to comprehend if we live to be 100 years old.
Therefore, a reason exists for everything that he does. Every action has a goal and purpose.
And so, don’t try to change the leopards spots. All it does is piss off the cat. Much like listening to a parrot, it has no real purpose.