The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Category Archives: Reactive Attachment Disorder

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Placement sometimes feels wrong..

Is it wrong for me to have moments where I relish the concept that David is in placement?

Today for example.  My bride and I went to see David and spent two hours visiting him.  Afterward, we went out for supper and then we went shopping.  When David was at home, we never would have been able to do that.

He was too volatile to leave at home with anyone except his aunt.  And we couldn’t expect her to come and visit every time we needed to go to the store, or wanted to go out to eat.

It isn’t as though we were never able to go to the store, but often a trip to the store involved a pat down of David’s pockets before entering and before leaving.  When he would be in the psych unit at the hospital, we would have respite, as well as when he was with his respite provider or mentors.

So why do I feel bad for enjoying today, and not worrying about David while I was doing it? Not worrying about what David had shoved in his pockets, or down his pants.

I enjoyed the time with my bride.

First visit with David

He has been a resident since October 3rd.  Today we had our first visit.  It went well, we were able to see him for two hours.  We played a couple of board games, and then watched a show on tv.

He is as energetic as ever.

It breaks my heart to see him happy there.  But it also makes me feel better to know that he is happy.  This placement is for him to learn how to control himself.

He still has not asked when he gets to come for a visit.

He won’t be home for Thanksgiving, and likely will only be able to have a couple of hours on Christmas pass.  It will be hard to not have him home, on the other hand, his brothers and sisters are opening up more every day.

Behavior Dependent – Holidays

David has been in placement for 6 weeks now.

His behavior and aggressiveness toward others are not diminishing, thus they are not recommending any home visits.  We will reevaluate for Christmas.  This is as I expected, however it doesn’t make my heart hurt any less for him.  Does he miss us?

I don’t think so.  Our conversations with him never last for more than a couple minutes.  One time he called, “I just wanted to say hi, ”  and then hung up on me.

We are scheduled for a two hour on-campus visit this Sunday.  Behavior dependent.   If his behavior is wild behavior will determine how long we stay and visit.  They said that they could arrange a day pass for Christmas.  We live an hour away from where he lives.  That would be four hours in the car, and with my health like it is, I am not sure we will be able to do that.  Time will tell.

Again behavior dependent.

We miss you David.  I wish that you could see what you are doing to yourself.