I cried today. I cried while mowing my lawn. Mowing gives you time to think. The drone of the mower is perfect for masking thoughts, for allowing them a fertile breeding ground. I cried for David. For the little boy who wants so desperately to be loved, yet pushes away and punishes those who love him most, his family. I cried for the hope that is diminishing a little each day. A hope that he will see that what he is doing is wrong, and the way he treats people is wrong. I cried out in prayer. Something that I do everyday. Pray. Does God hear my prayers? I believe that he does. I believe that David was brought into our lives for a reason. Ours is not to question why. Yet we struggle daily with his behaviors, his attitude, the words he says, the things he does. We struggle.
This has been something of a roller coaster week. I was in Indianapolis for the National Disability Rights Network annual conference. Some fantastic networking opportunities. A lot of great information, fabulous food and weather. At home, David was busy doing what David does. At the top of the list? He forged a check. He was charged with unruly behaviors and taken to safe bed. So now I need to determine what further charges should be contemplated. Do I press charges for forging a check on my account? Today, I brought him home from the safe bed. For the most part he has been good. I have allowed him zero freedoms. I hate doing that, but he needs to know that actions have consequences. To quote him, “safe bed is a worse place than here, and they let me go outside. So how come I can’t go outside.” then he says
We had a storm on the lake this week. Tornado warnings, severe thunderstorm watch, that kind of thing. I don’t know if it is the weather, the fact that I am at a conference, or what, but David has been in full form. A storm of a different kind. Facebook. If you are on the friends’ list of anyone in the family, he likely sent you a facebook request. David is not allowed technology/Internet access. David has a history of threatening to kill people via facebook. Typically he does this via hacking into accounts of his siblings. Please let us know if he says anything to you. Wednesday. David left his established area. He went outside of the boundaries established for him. When mom got home from looking for him with the intention of calling the police and reporting him as a run away he was home. Later, a local