Don’t give up on me.

With those few words, “Don’t give up on me.” David ended our phone call tonight.

Dad, don’t give up on me.

I assure him each time that I won’t. He is our son and will always be our son. See today he admitted to assaulting his mom. If he had been adult, he would have been guilty of a felony.

Look closely, this is not what people with developmental disabilities should go through

As it is, he is in a detention center where he has been since March 27th. On Friday he will move to what is called a safe bed, which will allow him a bit more freedom, as well as a chance to get back on his medication. (why the detention center for youth doesn’t give him his medications like they are prescribed is a fight for another day). Then next Tuesday, he will be moving to a Youth Home in another city.

See. For the longest time, we (his whole team) has referred to his condition as a mental illness. And really, it’s more than that.

It’s a developmental disability. His brain was harmed during development. There is no “cure” for that. There is maintenance and long term support. His condition is known as FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) it’s a condition visited upon him by his birth mom. Because she chose to do drugs and drink while she was pregnant. He went through withdrawals immediately after birth.

So with the upcoming placement we are hoping that he will get support. That he will again stabilize and become the best version of himself that he can be. He knows his brain is different.

Seeing him locked in the detention center has been difficult. To have him in waist chains and handcuffs is very difficult to see. This is not where he needs to be. In truth, there isn’t really a place for the kids like him, kids who will grow into adulthood without a place in their world where they can be the best version of themselves. Places that aren’t jail.

He needs ongoing support. His executive functioning isn’t what the average person has, and he needs an external subconscious telling him to think about what he is doing. To reconsider the actions he is undertaking. This is done with staff support.

Don’t give up on me.

It’s not free. It’s not cheap. But for his world, it will be infinitely better than being in jail. In jail, he will be even more vulnerable to the influences of more “powerful forces and people” who would take advantage of him. He desperately wants friends, even though he really doesn’t understand the concept. The people he calls his friends are not good for him, and influence him to do things that are wrong. Support staff can help with that.

I could see David being a video game tester. He could be very successful at that, and he would never have to leave his house to do it. Success for David will look very different from what his peers will experience. And you know what?

That’s okay. Nothing wrong with that.

So David. I say this to you.

We won’t give up on you. Don’t you give up on you either.

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Compliance – Continued Medication Issues

We are in week two of David’s not getting his medication as prescribed. Thus, he is out of compliance, though it appears to be a systems issue.

Either give him the medication he was prescribed or tell me how to fix it. It’s not difficult.

Today, I contacted the detention unit, asked to speak to the medical person, and was transferred to him.

When I asked what the issue was, the nurse said “he is not in compliance.”

I asked, if he was refusing to take the medication, and rather than providing me an answer, he said “who is the probation worker?” (I use probation worker as a loose descriptor for the person involved in David’s case.)

I explained who we are working with, and gave the nurse that information, as well as contact information for the worker.

The nurse then said “thank you” and ended the call.

So I called and left a message for the probation worker. I also called our watcher with Social Services. (the person from Social Services who is keeping an eye on the case) Since her voicemail isn’t setup, I had to draft an email. In reality, I don’t mind sending email. I prefer that in a lot of ways because it leaves a trail and lets us hold people to their word. It also allows people to hold me to my word.

Reaching out to the chain of command

We then reached out to the top person at the correction center for youth. The superintendent guy.

He took my call, I explained the issues, explained the steps that I was trying to take to resolve it, and that we had given all new prescriptions that were filled at the pharmacy since they don’t do that for kids in David’s situation. In addition, I explained that David continues to be out of compliance and I couldn’t get anyone to help correct it. As well as, I told him about how it’s been two weeks since David had all of his medication. That you can see the agitation in his body. David isn’t sleeping very well. He for sure isn’t getting the REM sleep that his body needs.

Possible issues related to medication denial

All of this bodes for problems. Tentatively, he is due back in court on Tuesday next. If foster care is the plan, he will have to spend his first month there getting his body attuned to the medication. Same will happen if he goes to residential care, or another facility placement. We will see an increase in behaviors related to his mental illness. He will be easily agitated and angered for no apparent reason. There will need to be an increased vigilance in those who provide his care.

It’s simple really. Either give him the medication he was prescribed or tell me how to fix it. It’s not difficult.

Because medication compliance works two ways. Please get in compliance with the medication that David needs.

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A complete lack of communication – Medication Issue

Complete lack of communication – Medication Issue

How hard is it? David has six prescriptions. Two medications are available over the counter – the others aren’t. communication

Since the staff at the juvenile detention center where David is currently being housed had an issue with his originally supplied medication, we supplied them with all new prescriptions from the pharmacy and brand new bottles of the over the counter medications, both were sealed. Included were two prescriptions for the over the counter medication that the pharmacy gave us on behalf of David’s psychiatrist.

Yet.

They are still claiming an issue with his medication. So he isn’t getting all of his medication.

One would think that the nurse would check with David’s doctor. With me. Or the doctor who prescribed the medication. With the advocate. With David’s lawyer. Or the Care Coordinator. With Juvenile Court. or maybe the Developmental Disabilities Program Manager.

So many people that they could have taken a few minutes and called to clarify ANY medication issues.

And they didn’t.

Communication.

So knowing my son. He isn’t getting the sleep he should because of the way his body is. I don’t care if your body will let you stay awake for 48 to 72 hours without any issue. You need decent REM sleep like any other person. Without it, they are setting him up for a huge failure.

If it was safe for the rest of us to bring him home, I would.

I promise these people. They have never seen a child like my son come through their doors. Why do I say that? Because we have been told that by two other facilities systems that he has been in. Because I know my son. I know at least some of what he is capable of.

I fear that which I don’t know about him. How easy it would be for him to have a complete psychotic break and seriously injure someone? These are the things I don’t know. and it makes me afraid for him. Very afraid of where his life goes from here. Especially without his medication.

Communication is hugely important in any child’s life. When dealing a child with serious mental illness, it is even more so.