The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Author Archives: David's Father

Do you want it?

David,

Seems strange to write this letter to someone named David.  But you will know that this is for you if you are reading this.

I just wanted to let you know that I believe in you.  Like I believe that each of your brothers and sisters have it in them to do good works, and to be great people.  I believe in you.

I believe that we can help you find the tools within you to become the man that you are meant to be.  I challenge you to take advantage of every opportunity to make changes in your life that are positive and a reflection on your spirit.  Do you want it?

I believe that the spirit is strong in each of us, and we just need to cultivate it.  Cultivate it like a garden and it will produce riches you will have never dreamed of.  Do you want it?

Most of all, I believe that we are all granted certain gifts in this life.  What we do with those gifts will help us determine the richness of our lives.  The people we let into our lives will help us achieve that richness, however, it is up to each of us to want to achieve greatness.  We are not given greatness. We aren’t given an indomitable spirit.  Though each of those live within us, we need to help them grow. Do you want it?

What will you be remembered for?  Will you be remembered as the kid who everyone was afraid of because he was a liar and a thief?  Or will you be remembered as the kid who overcame what seemed like insurmountable odds and reached beyond himself to achieve everything he deserved?  Do you want it?

Like I stated earlier, we can help you find the tools within you, but we can’t force you to do the heavy lifting.  You have to want it.

Do you want it?

What will your legacy be?

I am proud of each of our kids.

I am proud of you.

Love Dad.

Exploitation of my son?

Today I had a visit from a detective in our county.

Seems that some one at the hospital has taken issue with my blog.

I am being accused of exploitation because I write about my son’s mental illnesses, the people who provide care, and both the successes and failures of the mental health care system in our country.

I don’t make money on the blog.  I used to trade product reviews for free product, but that hasn’t been done for a very long time.

I resent the thought that I would exploit my son, let’s call him David.  I write about our lives with him and all of the “caregivers” because it does a number of things.

  1. Helps me deal with the events in our lives as they relate to David.
  2. Helps me educate others in relation to mental health and the crisis that our citizenry are in.
  3. Helps me advocate for help for my son.

It is the last item that I think is most important.  I can say without a doubt that my blog was instrumental in getting us a review of the denial by David’s current placement, and is in part responsible for his current placement.

I resent people giving my son ideas about how he feels.  He doesn’t feel shame.  He doesn’t feel remorse.  He doesn’t know sadness.  If he displays any of these emotions, it is a learned response to a situation.  I know this because I have lived with David for a long time.

I resent people telling me that I am not doing enough for my son, that I am using a hospital setting to care for him, or that I am wanting to put responsibility of my son onto others.

If you have issues with me, talk to me. I am not an ogre.

I have done my level best to ensure that David gets the care he needs.  I will use any resources at hand to continue to advocate for his care.

If you are giving my son ideas about how he should feel about things, what kind of social worker or doctor are you?  Are you putting ideas into the heads of other patients?

I am being very serious here.  You can do an incredible amount of damage when you meddle in things like memories.  Prior to the last two hospital stays, we had no issues with your hospital.  Most of the treatment team works well with our son and by extension, our family.  My son is a known chronic liar but rather than listen to other professionals who are obligated by the same oath you are, you choose to ignore them and listen to my son.  I appreciate that you are doing your job.  Before you make wild accusations, it would behoove you to do your level best to make sure that you check with all members of the child’s team in order to ascertain that you have all of the facts.  Our lives have been pretty much an open book for the last five years, as can be confirmed through the blog that you claim is exploiting him.  We have lived with psychiatrists, social workers and other mental health professionals in most aspects of our lives for the last five years with no issues until this last month and your meddling in his mind.

Please continue to do your job, but also make sure of your “facts” before you accuse people of things.

I won’t use David’s picture on this site anymore.  I also won’t use his real name.  I hope that satisfies you.  That is as far as I will go.  I have no plans to take down the site.  It is too important to his care.

One last piece of advice that we gave to our local school.  If you don’t like what I write, don’t read the blog.  If what I wrote is wrong or inaccurate, please let me know.

Placement begins

Today, David was placed in a psychiatric residential treatment facility.  He was a bit nervous, but hid it well.

Seems like a rather nice facility.

Hopefully, he won’t be discharged against doctor’s orders again.

For treatment to be successful, the decision to keep a patient in care shouldn’t be up to an insurance company.

It is going to take time for our family to return to pre-chaos life.  As much as we love having David in our home, we really don’t like the behaviors.  In time, his siblings will feel like they don’t need to hide in their rooms.

The current placement is an hour from our home so we can have frequent visits to him.  The nice thing too is that we have family in the city, so we can couple the visit to David with a visit to other family.

Wish David luck.