The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Author Archives: David's Father

A father’s pride.

Lidocaine HClI am proud of each of my kids.  Everyday, each one does something that just blows me away in awe.

Today for example… Mr T and I went to dermatology.   He has a lot of moles on his face, so we are working on getting them removed.  He was a bit nervous going in, I could tell, that, but with the autism, the average person wouldn’t have known.  He was his usual self though, cracking jokes and what not.  Until they stuck the first needle in him.

I swear, if I could have traded places with him, I would have done so in heartbeat.  It is difficult for parents to see their child in discomfort.  Truly, it was more than discomfort, it bordered on an anxiety attack.  A teeth chattering, chin quivering anxiety attack.  I have never seen him like that.

Still, he opted to continue.  They were able to get the first three numb enough to remove, and the doc was a very good man.  His nurse was also incredible.  I offered my hand to T, and he grasped it in both of his fairly sizable hands and held on.

after the doc cut the first one off, he showed it to T.  This seemed to calm him down immensely.  The doc asked for permission from T to continue, and surprisingly permission was granted.  So he proceeded to remove the largest one on T’s chin.  After the third mole was gone, the doc and his nurse asked permission to take two more.

Again, T surprised me and granted permission.  At this point, he had to contend with the Lidocaine needle again.  After all was said and done, T had given them five moles to biopsy.  Very brave.  I bought him a milkshake and lunch with a favorite aunt.  He slept most of the way home.

We go back in three months to take off five more.  I asked T if he was ok with that, and he said it wasn’t so bad.

A call from David. An Apology. Small steps.

You have to understand.  With David, apologies aren’t like an apology you would receive from someone with hurt feelings.  He doesn’t feel remorse like other people do.

That said, the fact that he called to apologize was a huge event for him.  He called specifically to talk to me, and apologize.  Evidently he is working his way through everyone in the house.

I don’t know if his apology was heartfelt or not.

I will take it.  I told him I forgave him and then talked about when our next visit would be.

Plus we talked about the Broncos / Cowboys football game.  David is rooting for the Borncos, as as he puts it, the Cowboys aren’t a very good team.

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Explosive Visit With David Today.

We saw David today.  The plan was a two hour visit.  We were there 20 minutes.

The argument started because David decided that he wanted to be obstinate.  I was getting the situation defused when David decided that he was done with the visit and took off down the hallway.  I had to go after him to ensure that he didn’t get into anything he wasn’t supposed to.  Once he was outside, I hollered for him to stop and talk to me.  He was about half a city block away and picking up speed.  Staff at this point was coming out of the residence.  So I told them that he was running away from us.

The Great Day of His Wrath

The Great Day of His Wrath (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In his anger, he left behind all of his toys.  So his sister brought them out to the door by his cottage.  David erupted.  Said that she was stealing his stuff.  His sister engaged and defended herself.  You don’t go against David even if you are defending yourself.  So I stepped between them. I calmly took the toys and was going to give them to staff.  David didn’t want that.  So I set the toys on the ground, we got into our vehicle and prepared to drive away.

David was missing a ball that he had thrown across the room in anger, so he slapped the windows on the car and started yelling that we had stole it.  We explained to staff that it was in the room where our visit was.  Then we left.

The kids have decided that they aren’t sure that they want to see David for a while.  I won’t force the issue.

David is of the opinion that he is never in the wrong.  As we were leaving I told David that I would call him later.  He said “I don’t care if you never call again, I hate you.”  Which I know is just his mental illness talking.

It has been a while since we were the brunt of his anger, and I think that the rest of our kids were surprised about how scary it is.  This is why we can’t have him come home.  When he was home, it was like this everyday.

We stopped and let all of the kids calm down.  Got them a book or two, and then left for home.  While we were there, I contacted the residence to see how David was doing.  He was fine.  In fact he was outside playing basketball.

a short while after that, he called mom.  and apologized.

 

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