Tag Archives: fear

Breaking hearts, practicing tough love with our son

Breaking our hearts to practice tough love with David. He called home for the first time since he was placed in detention.  Full of tears, and a story about how he banished the bad version of himself. Breaking Hearts During the first hearing, he didn’t want to talk to us. During the second, he said hello. He isn’t happy there in the detention center.  Nothing to do and in bed by 6pm.  He claims they won’t let him read or do anything.  And he can’t visit with peers. We can go visit him for an hour on Sunday.  In order to visit, we have to give 24 hours notice. He told me that he wasn’t getting his medicine.  I talked to the staff and they said he wasn’t in compliance.  So tomorrow, I’ll find out what that means.  Because he needs his medicine and will have all sorts of problems

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Pictures in my mind

Recently a picture that was posted in my Dad Blogger group on facebook triggered a memory from when David was very little.  We didn’t know that he would eventually become our son.  I was holding David, he had fallen asleep.  Before I knew it, I was sleeping.  I woke when he fussed.  It is a precious memory for me, one that I cherish. It reminds me of how simple life was.  Before mental health issues entered the picture.  Before he began threatening violence against the family. I don’t know what is in store for my son.  I wish that I did.  I wish that I could see the future.  But I can’t. What I do know.  I love my son.  I care very deeply about what he is dealing with, and wish that I could erase all of the bad things from his mental life. In the last few days,

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the most haunting sound

I never thought I would hear a sound so haunting as the sound of my son laughing at me when I was laying on the ground bleeding after having fallen while trying to calm him down and protect him from himself. I pray that you never hear the sound of your child laughing at you when you are asking him or her to get help.  Taunting you.   Tweet #fighting4answrs