We tried, didn’t we? We didn’t fail him, we are doing everything that we can. I wish that there was a magic wand that we could wave to take this away from him. But if we did that, would he be the child that we love? I don’t know, but I would have liked to have known that child.Tweet #fighting4answrs
We brought David home for a couple of days before he goes to residential care.
I can see now that outcome wasn’t what we had hoped. He has done nothing but steal, lie, yell and generally be combative since we brought him home. The only time we haven’t had to be hyper-vigilant is when he is sleeping, but even then we can’t turn our backs on him, as it is like he has a sixth sense about it and will wake up and get into things that he isn’t allowed to be touching.
David goes to safe bed on Thursday. I hope that we can get through the next couple of days without any harm coming to the rest of the family. Either emotional or mental. At 11, David can say and do some pretty hurtful things.
For example, his sister spent most of the day playing with him, doing things that David wanted to do. Just to be nice. What does he do? He steals from her, and then lies about it blaming it on one of his brothers. What did he steal? an iPod. A fairly simple device that his sister worked for. She worked for all of the music on the device. She worked for all of the games on the device. And he resets it, thereby wiping it out and making her need to reset it to get it back to what she had.
He hasn’t become physically aggressive to anyone yet, but I give it time. On Monday he will be gone for 9 hours a day for school. Thursday, he will go right from school to the residential facility he will be living in.
I can’t put the rest of the family through this abuse anymore. After he is in residential care, we will seek counseling for the rest of the family.
I feel bad. I feel bad for David. I feel bad for the rest of the family. All the way around, I feel like someone is losing out in this situation.
I think that what I need to do is pray. Pray that we are doing the right thing for David. Pray that we are doing the right thing for the rest of the family. No amount of love on our part can break through the sociopathic tendancies or the reactive attachment disorder. I wish that were false.
- A Journey of Faith (whynotfathers.com)
- Struggling as a father of children with special needs (whynotfathers.com)
- transition to residential care (whynotfathers.com)
- Safe Bed update (whynotfathers.com)
- what is he plotting now? (whynotfathers.com)
That is how long it took after David got home from safe bed before he stole something.
“I found it…”
“I don’t know how that got in my pocket”
At safe bed, he was evidently upset with staff. He had to eat in his bedroom, as he didn’t have privileges to eat with everyone else. So, he put all of his food down a heat register. Tomato soup. Indian Taco. Yum.
When asked why? He responded… “I was feeding the pet rats.”Tweet #fighting4answrs