Category Archives: Reactive Attachment Disorder

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Back in the Hospital – was – The Dilemma – What to do with David

Bamboozler.This has been something of a roller coaster week. I was in Indianapolis for the National Disability Rights Network annual conference.  Some fantastic networking opportunities.  A lot of great information, fabulous food and weather.

At home, David was busy doing what David does.

At the top of the list?

He forged a check.

He was charged with unruly behaviors and taken to safe bed.  So now I need to determine what further charges should be contemplated.

Do I press charges for forging a check on my account?

Today, I brought him home from the safe bed. For the most part he has been good.  I have allowed him zero freedoms.  I hate doing that, but he needs to know that actions have consequences.

To quote him, “safe bed is a worse place than here, and they let me go outside. So how come I can’t go outside.”

then he says “can I just go back to the psych ward, I don’t want to live here any more. There is nothing fun to do.”

He says that he wants to tell us what is right.  His way is right.  What he says is the right way to do things.  My banning “Call of Duty” is wrong.  Someone needs to play the game and since no one else was, then he should be able to do so.  Banning facebook access was wrong, because since he created his latest account, he has gotten 66 friends in 3 days.  Banning Internet access is wrong.  (David has threatened to kill someone via facebook, which is why we don’t allow him to use it.)  He also told me that he has been using Internet on the i-pad he is sometimes allowed to use.  Guess we need to make some changes.  He knows that isn’t allowed, but thinks that the rule is wrong since it isn’t the way he wants things to be.

I should note, shortly after I started this post, David’s behaviors escalated.  I ended up taking him to the mental health unit in the city.  He told me “if you like, I can stab you with a knife.”  or something like that.  I am a little tired, it is nearly 230 in the morning, it has been a long day.

The staff on the unit greeted him by name.  He left some clothes behind when he was there last, so we don’t need to bring him clothing.  How sad is it that the mental health unit knows him well enough that they don’t require me to complete his psycho-social history form?  How sad is it that he will be discharged in 4 days.  David was discharged from safe bed at 2:30.  12 hours later he is in the hospital under mental health care.

I am afraid that one day, we will become statistics in a book that no one ever wants to be a statistic in.  Pray that we get the help he needs soon.

Five days in May

So, insurance has said we have five days.  That means on Friday he could be discharged.

How frustrated am I?

The safety of my family is of utmost importance.  That includes David.

The social worker told me that this is what happens in acute care cases.

I’d like them to define acute care.

I am bored and this is fun.

32-p1Today, I had the rare opportunity to have a frank talk with David.  We talked about everything from sunshine to cats.  We talked about his favorite movie, Heaven is for Real.

We talked about dogs, rain, basketball (though I am by no means knowledgeable) and we talked behaviors.

We talked about how he likes being at home.

When asked about being home, David candidly stated “I don’t think I am a home person, I don’t do very well here.”

I asked him if he thought a facility would be better, and he stated “I don’t like facilities because I can’t get my permit at 14.”

So we talked about behaviors and driving permits.

I explained that sometimes, behaviors limit the extracurricular activities that we enjoy.

He understands that.

I gradually turned the conversation back to behaviors.

I asked one very telling question, not expecting a response.  “Why do you do the things that you do?”

He said “because I am bored, and it is fun.”

I asked him to explain, and he said sometimes when he is bored, and there is nothing to do, he does things just because there is nothing else to do.  Like sports.

Not sure what that means, but it is telling where his is mentally.  How can hurting people that we are close to be fun?

So I talked about facilities.  He is aware that it is a possibility that he will end up in a facility.  His only concern is that he won’t get to see us.  He knows I submitted the paperwork, and that we have already received notification of denials from in-state facilities.  I explained that whether or not he gets placed is largely up to his behaviors.

We don’t expect perfection.  We expect him to try.  So he promised to try.

It is rare that I get to have any conversation with my son, even though we spend about 20 hours a day together.  He doesn’t sit still long enough to talk, and this morning he did.

At the end of the period when he began to get restless, I gave him a hug, thanked him for talking to me, and told him how much I loved him.  It was a rare moment when I actually believed him when he told me “I love you too Dad.”

Never take away hope.  There always is hope, if we don’t have it then what will the world be like?

Oh, I asked him if he sometimes sees people other than us in the room.  Yes. “But they don’t bother him.”