wishes and dreams

I dream of a time when we don’t have to worry about him as much as we do.  Granted as a parent, part of us will always worry about our kids, but when you have a child like David, it is increased ten fold, a hundred fold.

Today he came home from the mental health unit.  We didn’t even get out of the hospital before he was starting with behavior.  Playing with the elevator, not listening, moving things around that were on a shelf.  You know, child like behavior, and in some cases behavior of typical teen.  I get it, I do.  But considering where we had just come from, one would think that he would be on his very best behavior.

I made a quick stop to pick up a part, and instructed him to not touch anything while I was in the store.  Came out to find he had rifled through the papers I had in the car.

Took him to get a haircut.  See, one of things that was reported is that we are pulling his hair.  I had his head shaved.  Since he likes to move around when getting his haircut, I had it done professionally so that he can’t say that I hurt him while cutting his hair.  (I used to do it all of the time, not any more).

I feel like I can’t discipline my kid.  If I go near him he acts like I am beating him and says “what are you going to do?  Beat me?”

What I have done is created “the center of attention”.

This is a chair that he can sit on.  Every time he does something to “be the center of attention” the chair is placed close to me, and he has to sit there looking at me. It creeps me out, but I don’t know what else to do.  I ask him not to do something, and he does it any way.  I ask him to do something and he refuses to do it.  I tell him that he can’t do something, like stand at attention, and he stands at attention.

I feel like I am losing my mind.

Oh and he says that he can’t wait for Child and Protective Services to come visit. I wish that I could better tolerate him when he is pushing.  Of course, I need to pick my battles.