The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

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SMI and the Tragedy of Adulthood

SMI – Serious Mental Illness

The National Survey on Drug Use and Health  (NSDUH), which defines SMI (Serious Mental Illness) as:

Rethink Mental Illness

Rethink Mental Illness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, what does this have to do with David?

David came to us when he was 18 months old.  We became his parents, legally, 6 months later.  In truth, since he was just months old, he has been a part of our lives.  Mom had a home daycare.  And we filled in as needed for his foster family‘s day care provider.

David is 15 now, in the blink of an eye, he will be 21 years old.  What happens to his care then?

This is the tragedy of adulthood for someone with a Serious Mental Illness.  Without the appropriate diagnosis, all care basically ends, regardless of what his actual needs are.  Unless two conditions are met.

Conditions

  1. Appropriate diagnosis.  –  something like Schizoeffective Disorder.  Each diagnosis that David has currently isn’t enough by themselves to get him continued care after he reaches 21.  Together they aren’t enough.  He has to have the right diagnosis.
  2. Jail/Prison.  He can receive mental health care that he needs, in prison.

111What kind of life is that?  With basic care, staff and supports, there is, I believe, a huge potential for him to lead a productive life.

Now, I caution my readers, his productive life isn’t going to be the same as yours or mine.  For him, it might be as simple as getting out of bed each day and playing video games. But if that keeps him and others safe, that’s okay.  It could be that he does something else.  The key here is safety and out of prison.

So again, how does this help him?  How does this help any adult who struggle with Serious Mental Illness?

 

 

Related articles

Safety, a blanket I want to wrap around my family.

Safety.

the website dictionary.com defines safety as:

noun, plural safeties.
1. the state of being safe; freedom from the occurrence or risk of injury, danger, or loss.
2. the quality of averting or not causing injury, danger, or loss.
3. a contrivance or device to prevent injury or avert danger.

This weekend we are bringing David home on an overnight pass.  This goes against every fiber of my being.  It’s not that he doesn’t deserve the pass.  It’s safety.  Safety for all involved.

The facility has told us that if we don’t do overnight passes, they will just discharge him.  I literally can’t risk that happening.  So we are going to do an overnight pass.

Only thing is, we will hire someone to be at our home taking care of our dogs while we take the rest of the family to a hotel in the city near where the facility David is in is located.  Then we will stay the night in a hotel.

It’s an overnight pass.  We live in a small town, and I can’t take the chance that law enforcement will be on the other side of the county when we need them.  I know, there is a chance we won’t need them, but I can’t risk it.

I can’t afford this weekend to happen, we need to replace our furnace.  Yet, I can’t afford for it not to happen either because of safety.

In the end, it is about management of risk.

English: Diagram illustrating the relationship...

English: Diagram illustrating the relationship between the three components of risk analysis. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am stuck with one question.

“How does this help?”

I wish that safety was a giant quilt I could use to protect everyone.

We will be less than 10 miles from the facility, versus the 60 miles to our home.

Playing with fire

I feel like we are playing with fire here.  Admittedly, David also likes to play with fire.

David admitted to that too.  We had blamed another child for the small fires.  David claims that it was him that did the deed.  We have not had any of the fires during any of the periods when David has been in facility based care.

What methods can we employ do we deal with that?  Sure we can keep all matches, lighters, knives, candles, and other things that could be used to hurt the family, but at what point does it become too much?  In what reality is it fair for everyone in the house to live in an environment like this?  Why should the other kids feel like they too are being punished for David’s deeds?

Safety and Security

Sure we can fill the house with fire extinguishers, we have smoke detectors and other things like places where we can lock

Smoke detector

Playing with fire

up knives.  But what if he lights a fire while everyone is sleeping?  Even as much as I stay awake when he is home and sleeping, even I can’t stay awake all the time.  It would kill me to try.

Plus he is smart enough to know how to disable things like smoke detectors.

We can put alarms on his doors and windows, but he is techy enough that he can figure out how to get around those devices.

Reasons and Logic

I can think of so many reasons why he shouldn’t come home.  Then too, are the reasons why he should be able to come home.

Regardless of what I, the facility, or the state want, what keeps people safe? What is best for David?

How can he learn to interact in public without being able to be out in public like his peers?  What can we do to help him learn that it is not acceptable to try to kill other living creatures, including people?  How?

At the end of each day, I only have more questions. More fear.