Fighting for Answers | Category Archives: ApologyApology Archives

Breaking hearts, practicing tough love with our son

Breaking our hearts to practice tough love with David. He called home for the first time since he was placed in detention. Full of tears, and a story about how he banished the bad version of himself. Breaking Hearts During the first hearing, he didn’t want to talk to us. During the second, he said hello. He isn’t happy there in the detention center. Nothing to do and in bed by 6pm. He claims they won’t let him read or do anything. And he can’t visit with peers. We can go visit him for an hour on Sunday. In order to visit, we have to give 24 hours notice. He told me that he wasn’t getting his medicine. I talked to the staff and they said he wasn’t in compliance. So tomorrow, I’ll find out what that means. Because he needs his medicine and will have all sorts of problems

Communication – yes, it is important.

I make no secret. I love to communicate with people. When it comes to David, I like to receive as much as I can via email, as it lets me have a documented record of what facilities and I see to each other. However. If my son has done something that necessitates intervention by the on-call nurse, I don’t care if you have to drill a hole to the center of the earth. I want you to call me and tell me about it. Seriously. Something like that is not what a parent should be hearing about via email. The facility is taking corrective measures to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Yes, I was upset. But he is okay. And frankly his safety and well-being is all that matters. Communicate people. I would rather have you tell me that you have no idea what to do next, than be kept

A moment of weakness

I need to apologize to some people. I had a moment of weakness last night in which I actually gave up fighting for David. I apologize to David for doing so. He deserves a lot of things, but he doesn’t deserve me giving up on him. I apologize to myself. For so long, I have been in a passionate robot like state trying to survive this life with him, and I have been doing myself a disservice in that regard. Last night something in me just let go, and I guess every once in a while that needs to happen. It helps remind me that I am not the robot dad. There is a part of me that forgot what I was fighting for. So the struggle will continue. Why? Because every child deserves to be loved and to have someone fight for them. I have an electroencephalogram this afternoon.