Fighting for Answers | Category Archives: adoption | Page 4adoption Archives - Page 4 of 14

Admitting the horror

It has come to our attention that David has admitted to trying to kill animals with his hands, and with chemicals. I don’t fault David for admitting the horror that he has tried. I don’t fault him for it, it is a symptom of his mental illnesses. Last year he attacked me more than once and tried to crash our vehicle when we were doing a transport of him to the mental health unit at the hospital. Given that he has admitted these things, and our family has experienced the things that we have from him, why would I just bring him home? He is my son. And I love him. But. But he is not the only person to take into consideration. Would it not be considered neglect or abuse to subject the rest of the family to a threat of harm from David? He has shown the propensity

For those Dad’s who played a role in my life

When we adopted our youngest, we did an adoption study. We had to write a bio and answer a ton of questions. Growing up, I had step-dad’s. My brother and I were adopted. Bio-Dad was in prison. Mom doesn’t acknowledge that period of her life. For those Dad’s who played a role in my life, I salute you. Dad, the one who gave us his name, wasn’t around, he was busy with his new family. I was 11 when I was raped by one of the bastards that I refer to as step-dad. I never spoke about it at the time. He regularly beat my brother and I. More so my brother than I, but I can remember seeing him throw my brother thru a wall. I had two favorite step-dads. One was a pro-golfer and never around in the summer time. Mom left him.

Reciprocity

One of the difficult things about raising a child like our son, David, is that the love that we feel for our son will likely never be reciprocated. It isn’t that he doesn’t bond with people, he just doesn’t bond with family. It is a facet of the attachment disorder. He is more likely to bond with a complete stranger, at least briefly, than he is to develop a bond with us. This is our reality. Just as we can’t force him to modify his behavior, we can’t force him to feel any kind of love or feeling toward the family. As a piece of that, he understands that telling someone, “I will take a knife and stab you” is not appropriate. He shows no remorse for saying it. To him it is no different than saying “the sun is shining”. It’s tragic really. The only thing that he regrets