Tag Archives: sociopath

It’s your fault Dad for not helping me be honest

kitchen basketDavid said “It’s your fault dad, for not helping me be honest.”

And he still claims he is innocent, and the mentor is lying.

About what?  Yeah, I guess that would be helpful to know.

When David got home last night from his mentor time, he had a basketball.  Said that the mentor let him buy it with his flex funds.  (Typically, by the end of the month the flex funds are gone.)  At any rate, David said that the ball cost 70 dollars.

So I confirmed all of this with the Mentor Coordinator who followed up with the mentor.

David has mentors two times a week.  Yesterday he was with his mentor at the YMCA.  Toward the end of their time together, David said he was hungry and demanded to go to McDonalds.  The mentor refused.  They had already spent the day’s allotted funds on food.  So David took off running. Out of the building.  The mentor, basketball in hand chased after him.

The ball isn’t ours.  Or the mentor’s.  it belongs to the YMCA.

David, is adamant that every one is lying.  I told him when he decides he can be honest, he would have consequences, and then we would move forward.  So he said he would lie, and tell me that the ball wasn’t his.  Asked what his punishment was.  Grounded.  for the day.

So, he started with a long diatribe about how it was 72 degrees outside, and there would never be another nice day like it again.  Wanted to know what he could do.

I said, there is always your Nintendo DS.  Nope.  he erased all of his data from the DS, then threw the game cartridges in the kitchen garbage.

That is when he said, “It’s your fault dad, for not helping me be honest.”

I am trying.  David, I am really trying.

Shortly after, he wanted to call the Sheriff to talk to them about how everyone was lying.  I told him that was fine, but that we could also have him charged with theft. For stealing the basketball from his mentor.

Another lecture about how I couldn’t do that, because it was against the law.

Oh, and he said he wants to be a Police Officer.

Today happens to be his mom’s birthday.  I talked to her about this all before I said anything to David about it.  I said, “you know, if I say something to him, your birthday isn’t going to be much fun…”

She understands, but also said “he needs to be accountable.”

So, I am trying David, but honesty has to come from within.  I can’t force you to be honest.  It isn’t that easy.

the enemy within

David is his own worst enemy.

105789856_cac78d7854_mWith the increase in behaviors, our psych team has discussed changing one of his medicines.  We aren’t doing a wholesale med wash like we used to do.  Rather we are increasing one of the stabilizers.   Hopefully we will see a change.

When we met with the psych team, I commented – in front of David – that the last time he was discharged home from a residential placement, he lasted 8 months before we had to look for placement.   We are in month 3, and a review of my posts from that time, shows that he is on track for another placement.

I hate the idea of sending him to another facility, but if he can’t maintain behaviors that are acceptable to society, can’t stop lying, being vocally aggressive to staff and/or going into a rage because he has been caught doing something that isn’t allowed, then what choice do we have?

If he was 18, it would be a matter of time before he was in jail for assault or worse.

We can do everything under the sun to protect our kids from things that can hurt them, but how do we protect them from themselves?

David is all about “what can you do for me right this second?  what can I gain from this second? ”  good or bad, if he thinks he can gain something, he will act out.

Trying desperately to keep him home, but… there is only so much we can do.

Not giving up.  Just recognizing that, again, sometimes we need help from outside the family to care for him.