Tag Archives: ptsd

Mental Health – a personal struggle.

I have been struggling for a while.  It seems like some days are very dark. Snappy and snarky comebacks are my friend regardless of the context of the conversation.  So I approached my doctor about it. I talked to her about: Insomnia – the lack of ability to sleep. Loneliness. – feeling alone, yet needing to be alone and preferring the isolation that comes with being a disabled stay-at-home dad even though I spend a lot of time advocating for others and supporting families. Anxiety. – I don’t know how to describe the overwhelming panic, the racing heart, the rapid thoughts and their impact on life. Fear. – of my son. and that he might attack me with a shovel again. Memory issues. – forgetting things, remembering things that didn’t happen…  conversation issues. So I am not crazy. Not in the traditional sense.  I underwent a battery of tests with

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my Kingdom for…

David has been in placement at the psychiatric residential treatment facility (PRTF) for 6 weeks. I still find myself keeping odd hours like I am keeping track of what he is doing in the middle of the night. In the evening I doze a bit, and then am up half the night as per the routine when he was home. Prior to his return home last January, he was gone for more than two years and I still had this pattern of sleep.  Up in the middle of the night, sleep during the day.  I find that I have a difficult time sleeping in a regular bed.  Even when I stay in hotels I tend to sleep on the couch rather than the bed.  Too bad hotels don’t have rooms with just a couch, a tv, and a bathroom.  I don’t need the bed. I am not sure what the

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update – staffing and PTSD

I feel like I am worn out… I talked to one of David’s caseworkers today.  Explained about the forced vomiting that he is doing.  She thinks that it is attention seeking.  I explained why I didn’t think so.  She agreed that the problem appears to be deeper.  So we are working on getting in touch with the psch team regarding his behavior.  No real answers yet, but it was nice to talk to someone about it to get another perspective. We also discussed the rewards that David gets for positive behavior.  I explained about allowing him computer or Wii access after 24 hours of not stealing.  He gets right to the end of the period and then steals something.  Not sure what this is about.  She thought that we ought to try decreasing the period.  Go from 24 hours to 12.  I explained that I am all the way down

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