The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Category Archives: antisocial personality disorder

a midsummer nights update

Things are kind of rocking along here in whynotfathers land.

Our youngest son is still being home schooled.  We still don’t know what is supposed to be in the Service Plan that we are supposed to file with the school district.  Our state Department of Public Instruction gave me our state century code as guidelines, and then referred me to our school superintendent for more advice.  The superintendent told me to ask my wife.  My wife, who teaches in special education in another district, says he doesn’t need one, and even if he did, doesn’t know what is supposed to be in it.

Our local newspaper did a feature story about David and I, about our little home school.  It was kind of neat.  Wish we could have talked about the issues with our local district a little more, but getting the word out about kids having special needs was more important.

On the other hand, we may have a new match for Respite Care for him and our family, which will be a huge bonus for our entire family.

And last but not least, we heard about our request for mediation.  Which we put in a week ago in response to the school’s request for mediation from early May.

Since it is summer time here on the Northern Great Plains, I doubt that anything will happen much before August.  I did give the mediators a complete list of the people on David’s team who needed to be invited to the mediation meeting.  Wish us luck. 🙂

Also don’t forget to check out the post about Jackson’s Journey and our quest to get him a weighted blanket.

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Mediation Request redux submitted

Well, I broke down and submitted the mediation request.  The school as you may remember requested mediation in our quest for an IEP for David that would allow him to return to public school in his home district.  I had written a rebuttal to their request.

Today I listed the 20 or so people on David’s team who need to be present at the meeting.  With the change in key personnel at our Support Services group that the school utilizes, things should be interesting.  Don’t know if they will continue to allow the elementary school principal to run rough shod over parents or not, but we will see.  At any rate, we submitted the request.

If for some reason Mediation goes the way the Facilitated meeting did, we will be in Due Process by Christmas.  I don’t see the benefit in Mediation, but am willing to try. We want them to start David with one hour a day, and see how he does. Once he proves himself, we will gradually increase the length of his day.

I am not blind enough to think that everything is going to be rosy, but wouldn’t put it past the school to somehow sabotage him on his return to school.  What will we do if we suspect that is happening?

I don’t honestly know.  But he deserves the chance to succeed or fail on his own.

At the facilitated IEP if they had given us written word that he could return to his home district if he successfully completed the program at the Ranch, we would have let him go there.  However our superintendent and the principal weren’t ready to commit to that.  I have to have it in writing, as I can’t trust them to keep their word.

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The magic of questions regarding disability.

So David is in trouble.  mostly for non-compliance.

What is non-compliance?

It is not listening. It is not following the rules.  It is going into other peoples bedrooms without their permission.  It is deciding when you can take your medication and when not to take it.  It is deciding that you can eat what ever you want whenever you want as long as it isn’t supper time.  It is many things.  these are only a few.

So he is being on time out.

Today at the supper table I told him that he couldn’t remove his time release rittalin patch until he had permission.  Minutes later he asked if he could go to the bathroom.  When I told him that I would check his patch when he came out, he showed it to me.  He had decided to take it off, because “I didn’t hear you tell me I couldn’t take it off…”

Just now, he asked me if he thinks he doesn’t care about us.  Sadly, I don’t think that he does.

This is the internationally recognized symbol ...

When I confronted him about why he went into his sister’s room when she wasn’t there, he said “I have ADHD…”

How can we prevent him from using his disability in such a fashion?  By trying to get the school to accommodate his disability, aren’t we using his disability as an excuse?

By the same token, I am on disability because of my illnesses and how they affect my balance, concentration, memory, and light sensitivity.  Am I not using my disability?

Maybe it is altruistic of me to expect him to understand that he can’t hide behind the things that he is diagnosed with.  They are not all that he is.  They only make up part of his life.  He can choose how they affect him, and how he responds to their role in his life.  Now it may sound like I am personifying his ADHD, or his Bipolar, or his TBI, but I am not.  However, he is who he is in part and despite these conditions that he has been blessed with.

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