The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Category Archives: Decisions

Articles in this category relate to making the decision for the dad to stay home, and the mom or primary care-giver to go back to the workforce.

The State of North Dakota Budget Cuts

We are beginning to see the affects that the budget cuts are having on David’s care here in North Dakota.

State seal of North Dakota

State seal of North Dakota (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

As a part of his ongoing care, I am trying to determine what services will be needed in the community for him to return home.  I am all about long range planning.

One of the key services that we utilized before placement was mentor support.  Where he spent part of a day with a mentor doing things away from the home.  It gave David a break from us and it gave the family a break from David.  Due to the budget cuts that service is largely unavailable for him now.

One mantra that we have heard here in North Dakota is that the budget cuts aren’t affecting people.

I beg to differ.  Not only are the budget cuts affecting people, they have long reaching consequences.  We can’t get a firm detailed list of what services our son would need in the community.  When I ask for such a list, it is rare when I get any form of a response.  This week, the list I received detailed things that we have either received in the past, or tried in the past and determined that David wasn’t a suitable candidate for because of his proclivity for violence.

So what do we do now?

I can’t realistically bring him home if there is a risk of violence. Without supports, community based, school based and home based, we are right back where we were a year ago.

On a side note, David continues to do well, but then he has always done well in care for the most part.  He is showing his tendency to manipulate the people around him, but most of his care team recognizes it for what it is.

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Honest emotion

survival business as a special needs parent is hard stuffI cried today.
I cried while mowing my lawn.  Mowing gives you time to think.  The drone of the mower is perfect for masking thoughts, for allowing them a fertile breeding ground.

I cried for David.  For the little boy who wants so desperately to be loved, yet pushes away and punishes those who love him most, his family.

I cried for the hope that is diminishing a little each day.  A hope that he will see that what he is doing is wrong, and the way he treats people is wrong.

I cried out in prayer.  Something that I do everyday.  Pray.  Does God hear my prayers?  I believe that he does.

I believe that David was brought into our lives for a reason.  Ours is not to question why.  Yet we struggle daily with his behaviors, his attitude, the words he says, the things he does.  We struggle.

Is this a test of our faith?

I cried today.  Sometimes, when you don’t know what else to do, there is nothing left after prayer except tears to help rehabilitate your spirit.

Cry.  It is an honest emotion, and there is nothing wrong with being human enough to shed tears.  This is survival.

Was mental illness Blaec Lammers’ only crime? – CNN.com

Has society gone too far in de-institutionalization?

Prison is not the place for our son to get any sort of help with his mental illness.

Do I agree with the parents?  Yes.  They were afraid for their son’s life.  Did he deserve prison for this purchase?rethinkmentalillnesslogo250_250

Do we pro-actively lock away people because they might do something with the guns they purchase?

I am pro-gun.  To me gun control isn’t a law.  It is something I was taught by my father as a kid.  Always be aware of where you are pointing the firearm.  Treat every gun as if it were loaded.

Are assault rifles needed?  Not in my home.

When David comes home, we won’t have firearms in our home.  That is a personal decision.

When David is of age, will there be anything preventing him from purchasing firearms?  Likely not.  Does that mean he deserves to be in prison for purchasing a firearm?  HELL NO.

Common Sense people.  Common Sense.

We shouldn’t have to fight for mental health services in our  country.  They shouldn’t be considered optional by any state.

 
It is not a crime to have a mental illness.

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Was mental illness Blaec Lammers’ only crime? – CNN.com.

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