The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Category Archives: changes

trying something new part II

In trying something new, I described efforts we were undergoing to change how we respond to David, and how we let him affect us.

Yesterday, we were given an added tip or coping mechanism.

Laughter.  When angry we should laugh more, because it is difficult to be angry while laughing.

On one hand, I think it is an act of lunacy.  But on the other hand, it makes perfect sense.  Can you be angry while you are laughing?

I can’t.

Last night the power was out for roughly 5 hours.  We repeatedly asked David to stay in the same room as us.  We ordered him to do so.  He didn’t and wouldn’t.

For most kids this isn’t such a huge issue, however, when your child is a thief and does things like playing with fire, you sure don’t want them roaming around in the dark unhindered.

Especially when we discovered that he was playing with the candles.

So we restrained him.  And he started laughing. actually, restrained isn’t the right word. We blocked access to the rest of the house.

I asked him, “why are you laughing?”

He responded, “the lady said we are supposed to laugh when people are upset with us.”

It took a while, and repeated application of his weighted blanket, but he finally did start to listen and then fell asleep.

 

I guess this change stuff is more difficult than I thought.   We will soldier on.

This will be my final post on Lost and Tired » Lost and Tired – a farewell and thank you.

This will be my final post on Lost and Tired » Lost and Tired.

Dear readers,
No this isn’t me closing down my blog.  Our work isn’t yet complete.  This is a farewell to a friend in the blogging and advocacy community.

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I have known Rob and Lizzie for almost 5 years.  He was my introduction to  the facebook group Reality Autism.  He was the inspiration behind finding my writing voice here at whynotfathers.com and in a few other places such as Special Happens.

No one can fault Rob for his dedication to the world of Autism or his family.  The support he and his wife have offered so many for the past few years has been incredible.  I wish him luck in his future endeavors and hope that he knows he can count on me to help in any way that I can.

So for now as we bid adieu, we know it is not forever.

Thank you Rob, you set the bar quite high.  Now do what you need to do for your family, and for you.  I wish you all the success in the world.  I am honored to call you a friend.  When I needed an ear to share ideas with, or an explanation of some piece of Autism, you were there.  When I needed to understand the other side of being married to someone with a chronic health condition, you were there.  When I needed to voice my frustration with adoption processes, and the aftermath of loving children such as ours, you were there.  You hold no judgement on my thoughts and words, in many cases we shared similar opinions.

Even though you aren’t actively blogging, doesn’t mean that you walk away from your friends in the blogging world.  When you get a chance to breath again, to get things under some semblance of control, look me up.  And if I am ever in your part of the world, maybe we can get together for coffee.

Perhaps in the future you might consider writing for whynotfathers.

With warmest wishes for success in family and life.
Carl

 

Section 1 – About a father

Thinking of my family at this late hour.  It is 1am here.  2am back home. I am on vacation and can’t sleep.  All but one family member is at home in Casa de Familia.

I was working a night job delivering newspapers.  One night I happened to deliver to a business that had an old friend working.  I had worked with this person in a previous job when I was still in high school.  I wanted to date her more than I wanted anything in this life. I wanted to show her that men are not all assholes like her ex-husband and the other riffraff that she went out with.  One night, she invited me to a Christmas party at a hotel with some friends.

It so happens that I had my daughter that weekend.  What better way to woo a woman than to introduce a small child.  So I showed up at the pool party with my daughter.  Spent some time frolicking in the pool, sat in the hot tub.  The woman I had designs on asked me for a favor.  Actually, her girlfriends asked me for a favor.  Seems like one of them had an employee Christmas party to attend that evening.  Would I be willing to take her to the party?

The offer included free babysitting services.

Being the gentleman that I considered myself to be, I agreed.  Of course, I was thinking that this would show my intended that I was a good guy that she could trust.  I went home to change.

Later at the party, I discovered many people that I knew.  Mostly family.  But I discovered one very important thing.

 Want to read more? Part 2 is here.