Right now. this very instant, I feel bad. Not sick, but upset with myself. Why? Because I am looking forward to tomorrow. David goes with his mentor for 6 hours. That doesn’t mean I won’t worry about what he is up to. Rather it means that I will worry a bit less. I just feel like I shouldn’t look forward to him being away from home. Yet, in some ways, it is the highlight of our week. No arguing. No attitude. No self-righteous indignation and blaming others for what he has done. (at least until he gets home and blames the mentor for what ever he did.) arguing with David reminds me of this scene in Rain Man. Tweet #fighting4answrs
David said “It’s your fault dad, for not helping me be honest.” And he still claims he is innocent, and the mentor is lying. About what? Yeah, I guess that would be helpful to know. When David got home last night from his mentor time, he had a basketball. Said that the mentor let him buy it with his flex funds. (Typically, by the end of the month the flex funds are gone.) At any rate, David said that the ball cost 70 dollars. So I confirmed all of this with the Mentor Coordinator who followed up with the mentor. David has mentors two times a week. Yesterday he was with his mentor at the YMCA. Toward the end of their time together, David said he was hungry and demanded to go to McDonalds. The mentor refused. They had already spent the day’s allotted funds on food. So David took
Today was by all accounts, a good day. David had a reasonably good day at school. No refocuses. No notes about talking back or being disruptive (more than usual) in class. So I count today as a success. I told him so. He says all he ever hears is what he isn’t supposed to do. So I kept track. And he is right. So I am trying to change my thinking to what he can do. It won’t be an easy transition, but will try. It is refreshing to say yes, within these limits, rather than saying no. no. no. He still has limits, and he knows that we will enforce the limits, but I think it allows him to experience a small measure of freedom. Or at least the illusion of it. ====Update==== I gave him prescribed boundaries where he could ride his bike. Hour later, and no David.