Anxiety
In a little more than a month, David will return from his fifth placement in six years. As a result, we are on edge. Anxiety in people who are already in a heightened state of upset is not good.
we hope and pray for peace for David, as he struggles with mental illness
We are told that things will be different this time.
By the admissions of the staff where he is, David needs constant redirects.
Last Spring, a psychologist associated with the agency diagnosed David with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. This is in addition to the Reactive Attachment, Severe Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Conduct Disorder that he already had.
The Specialist
So I arranged to see a specialist in August so we could get specific recommendations regarding future care planning for David.
Don’t live in the past
We aren’t supposed to live in the past where David tried to kill me. Where David stole from everyone in the family and a couple of the neighbors. We aren’t supposed to live in the past with the verbal abuse toward each of us. The violent outbursts. The lies to social workers that resulted in investigations from Children and Family Services.
So we prepare. Unlike the last time he was discharged, we have more notice. It’s not helping us with our anxiety.
We are supposed to do more home passes, more visits. They are going to write down their tips for dealing with David when he needs redirection or is invading personal space. Will that help our anxiety?
We are going against the recommendations of the specialist that we saw in August who said that David needs a supported living environment. We are trying to apply for services in the Developmental Disabilities realm, but that takes time.
What is painfully clear is that when he comes home, he will not have the same level of services that he had last year when he was home. We hope and pray that he has improved in his mental health.
I live with a couple of chronic health issues that are affected by stress. Anxiety like this isn’t helping.
Prayers
We hope and pray that he doesn’t feel the need to steal everything from his siblings, mom or I. or that he won’t try to kill me again.
Mostly, we hope and pray for peace for David, as he struggles with mental illness. He deserves a chance, but then, doesn’t the rest of the family deserves to feel safe.
so while we prepare for him to come home, we also are attempting to find more care for him. As much as I want to believe that he has matured past his mental illness, I just don’t believe that it is possible or realistic. Only time will tell.
For all of the families struggling with mental illness, a prayer for each of you. That you may find and experience peace.
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