When we adopted our youngest, we did an adoption study. We had to write a bio and answer a ton of questions. Growing up, I had step-dad’s. My brother and I were adopted. Bio-Dad was in prison. Mom doesn’t acknowledge that period of her life. For those Dad’s who played a role in my life, I salute you. Dad, the one who gave us his name, wasn’t around, he was busy with his new family. I was 11 when I was raped by one of the bastards that I refer to as step-dad. I never spoke about it at the time. He regularly beat my brother and I. More so my brother than I, but I can remember seeing him throw my brother thru a wall. I had two favorite step-dads. One was a pro-golfer and never around in the summer time. Mom left him.
Today, I write about my failings as a father. Yesterday I wrote about an investigation that occurred into an incident at the facility where David lives. What may have been “innocent play” resulted in an investigation. an investigation I just learned about. are there gaps in the system? Hell Yes. How could they not tell me that an incident occurred? how could they have an investigation and not tell me? Who was on David’s side during the investigation? When they “talked” to him about it, did he feel safe? Did the conversation happen at the facility or in another location? On Monday David is being moved to the another facility. I feel like I failed to protect him. I know that isn’t realistic. But… there it is. I am left with more questions than answers. and that saddens me. On Monday, I plan to take my list to the facility
Modern communication can be a wonderful thing. Where David is concerned, I make it a point to let staff know that they can reach out to me, any time, day or night. I also encourage communication via email. I encourage email communication more than anything because it allows both sides to keep a record of what happens, what is said, and so forth. Today I received mail from our state Institution Complaint Investigating Department. Turns out an incident occurred five months ago that involved my son. Staff put their hands on my son. In any other setting, it would be considered harmless, but we are talking about a psychiatric care facility here. Turns out there was some nipple twisting going on. Enough to cause redness and light bruising. I was not informed of the incident until today. I was not informed that the incident involved staff. I was not informed