Heart is breaking… for David.

Today, we participated in an IEP meeting for David.  Every time we meet, it is with the hope that good news and progress will be noted.  Today, not so much.

David is evidently determining for himself when he wants to be in school.  If he doesn’t want to be there, he leaves the building and returns to the residence hall where his room is.  Evidently he has missed 72 hours this term.  When he is present, he swears worse than a truck driver, and uses the c%*T word frequently.

He is mocking the behavior of others, and will apply the conditions of others to himself.  He pushes some kids to the point of tears with his mocking of their behavior.  If a child is acting out, he coaches them to act out even more.

We don’t understand why they can’t keep him in the classroom.  No discipline will cause him to change his mind.  Loss of privileges doesn’t deter him.  If he doesn’t want to be there, he won’t be.  He just doesn’t care about anything.

We did get a list of his axis diagnosis.

Axis 1.

Axis 2.

  • Borderline Cognitive Ability

Axis 3.

  • Tinea Imbricatta, Dermatophysis of the Body

Axis 4.

  • Abandonment by Biological Parents, Adoption, Educational Problems, Out of home placement, Parent/Child relationship difficulties, Peer relationship problems.

Axis 5.

  • GAF – 41

Over time, I will try to describe what each of these things means.  Tonight, I just don’t have the strength.

In the end, this residential placement may not be the best place for David.  In the words of the teacher/case manager, it is not the Least Restrictive Environment for David.

We have questions.

  1. Why did the behaviors increase in Davidh.  he has had 13 incidents this term.  In February, he had 1.
  2. Why can’t they keep him in his chair?
  3. Why, when the psychiatrist calls, does he tell us that everything is fine, when obviously it isn’t?
  4. Why do people feel that it is ok to lie?  At parent teacher conferences, we were told, David was present, that the teacher threatens to call his home school to arrange an IEP meeting to determine if this school is the best place for David.  Today, they denied that they threatened to return him to his home school.  My wife and I took it as they were threatening to return him to his home district.
  5. David was born addicted to drugs, as a result, his body adapts quickly to medications.  Are his behaviors a result of his body adjusting to the meds?
  6. It was reported that David’s handwriting starts out in a straight line, and then gradually trails down the page.  I asked if he is consciously doing this, and the teacher doesn’t think so.  So my question would be, what is going on with his brain that would cause this?

In the end, we have more questions than answers.  In the coming weeks we will be addressing them.  David will be repeating the fifth grade.  He is just not getting the material.  This would be the case even if he was staying for the full school day.  David will get extended school year services in Mathematics.

I asked, based on what we heard today, if David is a Sociopath.  Since none of the people at the table are Psychiatrists or Psychologists, no one had an answer to that question.  We think that a psychiatrist will need to be part of the IEP team in the future.

We did see David briefly today, we told him that he needs to work his program.  He needs to stay in school.  He needs to behave.  His response was that the teacher angers him.

My heart is breaking because I can’t make him better. I can’t pray him better.

It took effort to hold myself together during the meeting today.  I calmed my wife.  She was angry.  Not at David, but at the situation we find him in, that he has created for himself.

Some days we are surprised at the level of care by the school where he is a student.  But what do you do with a child, that just doesn’t care.  About anything?

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