The Dad’s Side of Cafe Life, and Another Reason Special Needs “Parents” Rule

Note from Katrina: This is the first of, I hope, many posts here at the Cafe by my other half, Jim. You’ve heard of him fleetingly here and there in other posts at the Cafe, but never directly.

You’ll learn more about Jim if you come back often to visit in on the Dad’s Side of Cafe Life, and I’m pretty sure you’ll be surprised. There’s a reason I fell in love with this guy, after all. He’s a deep and sensitive kind of guy, just a bit quirky, and chock full of the same awesomeness all my kids claim as well.

Dads are Part of “Special Needs Parents” Too

I’m a stay at home dad of three boys.  All who have varying degrees of health issues.  I myself have quite a number of health issues as well.  This is a post from my point of view.

Being a guy who has Aspergers and reads almost everything literally I am bothered by some things.  I don’t know why exactly but reading certain things, seeing certain things, and disruptions in my routines are my biggest issues.  But the main thing this post is about is the lack of acknowledgement fathers receive in their kids’ lives.

I’ve complained to Katrina probably hundreds of times about seeing posts that just say special needs moms or entire websites, conferences (Blogher), dedicated to moms. Heck I get angry when something comes home from the boys school that only has my wife’s name on it.  Katrina will say I read too much into it but this is something that has bothered me since I first became aware of it.

I know there are a few dads out there that write blogs and are advocates for their children.  I’m so glad they are out there.  I respect what they do so much.  Seeing what they write and what they go through really helps out in times when it gets hard.

A Look from the Other Side of the Family, Dads are Parents Too

Just look at something from my point of view for a second.

I am a dad with kids, who combined have mild Cerebral Palsy, Apraxia, mild to severe Autism, Epilepsy with some Grand Mal seizures, and who are developmentally behind.  I am a guy that is socially awkward.  I have Aspergers that wasn’t diagnosed until my first child was 4 years old.  I won’t ask questions unless I know you and trust you.  So I go online to research (which I do A LOT).  All I see are pages after pages after pages dedicated to moms with kids that may have some of the same problems mine do.

First off I get discouraged because I see a lack of support.  Second I would find it extremely difficult to ask questions due to my social issues. Third and finally, I wouldn’t know who or where to turn to because I’d be lost.   Where could I go?  I really do feel lost at times because I see all the support moms get.

The point of all this ranting is just to say when you think about the kids with special needs just remember there are weirdo’s out there like me that would love to see replies, blogs, websites, and conferences that say Special Needs Parents.