The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Category Archives: positive thinking

Attention Seeking RAD

I tend to forget, and I shouldn’t.

Every action is designed to get attention.

Every behavior is designed to get attention.

I asked him this morning, “what do you gain from this behavior?”

His answer?  “I don’t know”

 

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I wish that he did.  I would much rather award positive behavior, than the negative that we have been seeing.  Still, everything considered he is doing better than before he went to the residential facility.  Of course, are are nearing the end of what is typically the honeymoon period.  His honeymoon typically lasts 6 weeks.

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Last night I was giving him his meds, he had a glass of water.  he acted like it was slipping out of his hand, water sloshing around, above the rim… nearly soaked my laptop.  So I called him on it.  Thus beginning an hour of negative behaviors.  All because I told him to set his water down and take a drink between pills.  This gave me time to move my laptop.

On the way to the kitchen, he “accidentally” poured his water all over the floor.

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I am going to try to ignore his behaviors.  Since he wants attention when he does these things.  It isn’t easy.  David and I spend as much as 10 hours a day together.  5 of which there is no one else around.  My health doesn’t give me a lot of energy to “play”.  I have been gradually letting him go for walks with the dogs.

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One other thing.  When he is called on his behavior he says things like “there is no need for retaliation.”

Or if I tell him to sit down, and then later ask him to do something he says “but you told me I had to sit down…”

Or if I tell him I am calling someone, like the doctor or his care coordinator, he asks if he can pack a bag, because he “knows that he is going to be placed in the hospital.”  If I call, it is because I need to arrange an appointment or something.  In case of the care coordinator, it is because I need to update her on how things are going.

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Seems to me that his life is worthy of a Shakespearean tragedy.

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honesty doesnt make us bad parentsIn the end, we love him, he is our son.  Not giving up.  Though he seems to think that we are giving up when we place him in a facility….  ah, life is such a tragedy.

I give him a hug.  I tell him how much he means to us.  That we love him.

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Oh my, we are late for his appointment… make everyday a good day.  Hug your loved ones.

 

God, Grant Me Strength

So, evidently, a majority of David’s team at the Psychiatric Residential Treatment Facility (PRTF) thinks that he is ready to come home.

Never mind the self-harming and manic episodes from last month.  Never mind the negative behaviours or need for him to have a highly structured environment.

So while his Mother and I don’t think that he is ready to come home, and that his primary doesn’t think he is ready to come home, and that some of his care team that has been with him since basically the beginning of our struggles to get him services doesn’t think he is ready to come home…  There is a pretty fair chance that he will be released in the next two to three weeks.

Today I was asked if there was a discharge plan in place.

HELLO?!?  hope and help are on the way

Up until last Friday we had no idea this was even on the radar!

Let me get right on that…

So their admissions office is working on an appeal, and we are working on an appeal, I need to also coordinate a return to public school, a restructuring of our home to accommodate his needs.  Not to mention the needs of our other two boys who are also on the Autism Spectrum.  How will moving David home affect the dynamics that exist with them?

Don’t get me wrong, I love David dearly, but there is a bigger picture to all of this than just David.

So, tomorrow, I will talk with our advocate.  I will talk with our Care Coordinator.  I will talk with the our school to start that process.

In the last two months, we have had numerous phone calls with therapists, with his psych team, with his primary staff, with cottage staff, with the nursing team, and no one said that they were looking at a January discharge date.  David said that they were, and we discounted that as wishful thinking on his part.

What happens if the school says that they won’t accept him?  Sure, they have to provide him an education, but in the past, they have turned him away.  What happens if he decides to cut one of us instead of himself?   Sure there are a lot of what ifs…  But we know David.  I don’t see this as a good thing for him.  To move from a highly structured environment directly home with no step-down or transition facility in between is a recipe for disaster.  There is no way we can replicate the structured environment of the PRTF in our home without 24/7 help, and I really don’t see that happening.

In the end, it boils down to one very simple question.  What is best for David?

Sunrise Attitude – An explanation

Sunrise Attitude.  It is a way of life.  Sunrise Attitude

That person that looks grumpy.  You know the one I am talking about.  Suppose they had a really bad weekend.  Someone they love is lost.  Their child was all kinds of misbehaving.  Money issues… pick one.   For some reason they are having a bad day.  Everyday may start out that way.  Ours is not to understand why, unless they choose to involve us.

Maybe that person is you.  Are you a Grinch?

Greet that person warmly.  With a smile, a handshake.  Compliment them on their attire.  Did they get a haircut?

Doesn’t really matter, but if you see this person regularly, nearly everyday, did they get a hair cut?

Sometimes, all it takes to brighten the day of another is a simple compliment.  A kind word.

If this person works with you, compliment them on something that you saw them do.

If we show kindness to others, they will return that kindness.

If everyone does it, one day, there may be less hatred in our world.

If you mentally or audibly tell yourself that “Today is a GREAT day!!!”  Eventually, that will be automatic in your life.  Great things can happen if we improve our outlook.  If we improve the attitude that we show other people.

Today is a GREAT day!..  Make it so.