The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Category Archives: lies

he is a known liar. why believe him?

I get calls from David.  Complaining about this or that.  Today he was refusing to go to school.

After explaining why he didn’t want to go to school, I let David know that he can’t hide from whatever or whomever he thinks is bothering him.  And that he should go to school.

I figured that was the end of it.

About 6 hours later, I received a call from a staff member.  David had a rough day.

He struggled with being in school because “dad told me I didn’t have to go to school today.”

Now, if David is known to lie, why would they believe him?

It would have been a simple matter to get me on the phone and ask me if I had told him that.  Quick and easy verification.

I talked to his Care Coordinator who doesn’t work in the facility where David lives, and touched base with her to keep her in the loop.  I even told her that he would probably tell them I told him it was okay to not go to school today.

Tomorrow we are going to visit.  I hope it goes well.

We do not withhold family visits as a form of punishment.  It is my hope that he won’t hide behind his “anxiety” to keep from visiting with the rest of the family.  The weather has been decent, and looks to hold for a couple of more days.

========  In other news ========

While he is in care, I don’t like to write a lot of things about what he is doing, as I feel it is improper.  I do share a lot of articles on our facebook page which you can find at https://www.facebook.com/fighting4answers.

Feel free to like our page and comment on the posts there.  If you find something that you think others would benefit from reading, please share it with us, which you can do through the page.

lies I tell you, all lies

mediumDavid can switch between thinking he is the smartest person on the planet, or one of the dumbest.   And I use dumbest literally.

There are times when he acts as though he has lost all mental faculties that he has, yet other times if goes to the extreme, and he acts like he is the only one who knows anything.

And sass…

So we got notes from the hospital regarding his stay.

He evidently told staff that the reason he was placed there is because he was terrorizing people in Walmart with a hand knife.   He goes on at length about it.  How 911 was called and dad was given the option to either have the police take him to the hospital or to do it himself.

David, of course, denies having said any such thing.

So.  I explained to him what happens when we lie to people.  Especially to people in the mental health unit.

He thinks that i am stupid for believing that he would say anything of the sort.  When David speaks, a majority of the time, it is a lie.  Very rarely does he say anything that can be believed without a lot of prodding. So we do a lot of, “let me verify that.”

I told him, I believe that he is anything but stupid.

Hide and Seek – or I tell no lies.

DSCF2182_v1“David… David.. David..

Tomorrow is a brand new day.  Maybe we can try telling the truth.”

Until 6pm, we had a good day going.  Then when I went to call David in for the night, he was not where I could see him.  He didn’t respond to my calls of his name.  So I went looking for him.  He claimed that he was feeding our dog Max and playing with him.  I know this because he came around the side of the house as I pulled out of the drive way.

He wasn’t where Max is, I checked there.

So he “finished watering Max” as he was carrying out a pitcher of water, he turned and asked if I had called for him.  I replied with “go, go, go,” meaning he should finish watering Max. Fifteen minutes later, I went looking for him.  No where to be found.

So I got in the van and went looking for him.  Sure enough, he was down the street, where he should have been able to hear me calling his name, where he didn’t have permission to be…

So he didn’t understand why I was disappointed.  Every time I brought it up, he argued with me.  Finally, I stopped talking.

I tried to explain that in our community, people know he has a history of stealing.  I said, “if I know where you are, I can defend you against accusations.”

So he had to argue about that too.  Claimed the NAPA man was standing out on the street giving away calendars.

While I was at the play production that our other two boys were doing with their school, David decided to hid his medicine kit.  Which until now was stored in a canvas bag.  That will change as soon as I can get the money to mount a lock box on a wall that we can store medicine in.  We searched the house unsuccessfully.  Every where except the pile of fabric next to my sewing machine in the living room.

Within minutes of asking David to help find it; he up until this point, vehemently denied knowing where it was, found it.  Said “I don’t know how it got there.”

So now he has been medicated, and is in bed.  We told him that if we didn’t give him his medicines tonight, then I was sure I could arrange a stay at the hospital where they would be sure to give him his medicine.

The key to Davids lying.  He lies about every thing.  He does it so well, that he can convince others that what he is saying is true.  He doesn’t understand why I don’t automatically believe every thing that he says.

As I tucked him in for the night, I said

“David… David.. David..

Tomorrow is a brand new day.  Maybe we can try telling the truth.”

I pray that he does, but you will have to excuse me if I don’t hold my breath waiting.  Is the need to lie pathological?  He does it instinctively, and honestly I don’t know if understands the difference between lies and reality.