Category Archives: Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)

just another manic monday

Well, David and I met with the respite care providers.  Nice family.  Mom and Dad seem to think a lot like us.  Neat this is that they have adopted a couple of kids as well.  So we are excited.  This should enhance David’s life by giving us a break from each other.  I made sure to let David know that he is still our son, but that this is just a place for him to take a break from our family.

The case worker told him to think of it as his vacation home.

We spent almost two hours in their home just talking. We talked about our challenges from the past year, about fighting the school district to ensure that David has access to an education in accordance with state and federal law.  The mom is studying for a degree in early childhood education.

On the way home, David talked about the rabbits.  (the respite home is in the country, which means lots of room for David to run) They have snowmobiles that they ride around on, and asked if he could do that.  Plus in the summer they go camping.  Because I am sensitive to light, that hasn’t been an option for us.  Maybe once we get a camper that will change, but have to wait and see.

For now though, things are looking up. 🙂

this isn’t a picture of the actual house, but I thought it was neat and shows the outdoors in a way that will remind David of the respite home.

English: Farm house.

Image via Wikipedia

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say it again, with feeling

I find myself repeating everything I say to David.  Don’t, Don’t, Don’t do that. Don’t do this…

Don’t touch the computer without permission, don’t touch the tv without permission.  Don’t touch the Wii without permission. You are not allowed on facebook.  Over and Over and Over again.  Yet, each morning I get up and when I check my email I find that he has attempted to access facebook, or he has attempted to access yahoo, or…

He was born with a traumatic brain injury.  I understand that.  He has obsessive compulsive disorder, he is oppositional defiant, he has ADHD, he has facets of Autism, he has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, he has Reactive Attachment Disorder.  And apparently, he has no memory.

I don’t know.  I am just so frustrated.  I wish that I had a magic wand that I could wave which would allow me to remedy all of the issues that he was born with.

This morning, he had a meltdown as the rest of the kids were leaving for school.  Absolutely refused to listen to reason, and went off the scale because he couldn’t have things his way.

Now we are off to meet with the respite care provider.  Hopefully this meeting goes well.

Any ideas on how I can help him remember what he can and can’t do?

Pete and repeat – say again?

So for what seems like the hundredth time, I had the talk with David, our 10 year old about how his behaviour will follow him for the rest of his life.  Do I think I got through to him this time?  Sadly, no, I don’t.

This is the child who just got out of a residential facility, where he was placed in part because of his behaviour.  I explained that there are worse places for him to be, and gave him specific examples.  I talked about how when I was a kid, I was in trouble with the law and was taken from my home in handcuffs.  Yes, even at the age that he is, they might not use handcuffs, but they could decide that this isn’t the proper environment for him.

So the question is, how do we protect him from himself?  When it is just him, and myself, there are no major issues, but bring the other kids home from school… and he has to act up and do all kinds of things to get attention.  I have taken away computer privileges, I have taken away toys, I have taken away special treats like oatmeal creme pies, which are his favourite.  To no avail.  He continues to do what he wants when he wants it.

Friday is amnesty day.  He gets amnesty if he gives back everything that he stole throughout the week.  Today I gave him amnesty and he didn’t give me anything.  So when I was making one of many intervention trips into his room to keep his brother from killing him, I went through his things and found…

  1. One hole punch.
  2. One cat food can, partially empty.
  3. Two cat food can lids.
  4. A half dozen AA batteries.
  5. 4 pens.  (not allowed because he writes on everything, whether it is his or not.)
  6. Candy wrappers. (we control his candy intake because of the severity of his ADHD, he isn’t allowed any except under very controlled circumstances.)

Earlier this week,  he had managed to break into our bedroom and steal a netbook from his mother….

So how do we protect him from himself?  How do we protect him from his brother’s and sister’s?  How do we protect his brother’s and sister’s from him?

Today, I went so far as to explain what his behaviour does to my health.  I have a number of illnesses that respond negatively to stress.  I am not going to delude myself into thinking that it will change his behaviour.  I told him, as much for his information as it was for me to admit it to myself.

Tomorrow, mentor time.  Which means for 5 hours he won’t be in the house.  5 hours of relative quiet.  Am I wrong to look forward to that break?