The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Category Archives: Reactive Attachment Disorder

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facebook and my pre-teen

Well, my pre-teen has signed up for a facebook account again.

What to do… ?

Well, we did a couple of things.

  1. reset the password
  2. add a second email to the account. (whenever he tries to change the password, I get notified.)
  3. the only way he gets to use the account is if an adult is with him.
  4. break the rules, no computer.

He has created accounts in the past, really it isn’t that hard to convince facebook that you are old enough to have an account.  We have deactivated his accounts in the past.  Why are we giving in this time?   Pick your battles.  In the month since he has been home from the residential facility, he has done very well.

Our rules for facebook:

  1. No pictures outside of the ones that mom and dad have approved.
  2. no negative posts.
  3. no cussing.
  4. all friends have to be approved by mom and dad.
  5. the only adult friends allowed are family members.

Seems simple doesn’t it?  How long before we have to deactivate the account because he broke the rules?  Oh wait, we shouldn’t have to, as we just take away his computer privileges.

How did we know he created a facebook account? all of the kids told us, plus we heard about it through his aunt and when he was on the phone to another relative.

 

my kingdom for toothpicks to prop my eyelids open

My youngest has been up since 4am.  He has days like these.  I don’t know if it is just me being tired or what, but it seems like he is pushing a lit of buttons today. Not just mine, but all of the people in the house.

So what recommendations do you have to keep a 10 year old in bed, or from waking up the rest of the house when he gets up at that hour?

the rule is that he is supposed to wake me.  Twice now, he has used the excuse that he didn’t know where I was sleeping, so he woke up his brother instead.  So now his brother is going to wake me up.

very frustrating.  But, it isn’t something that he has a lot of control over either.

maybe I can get my wife to let me take a nap when she is done with her course work for college.

Me Parent – You Child and a Brunch Date

So today has been one of those wonderful days. Mostly calm and relaxing.

The youngest had a date with his mentor, so we hiked to another town 30 miles from here to drop him with the mentor.  Got a brunch date with my lovely bride… 🙂 so rare that this happens, cherish the moments.  Went back to get our son at 3.

Seems like every button that he can push on his sibs is pushed.  I don’t think that it is intentional.  I just think that his siblings are so used to getting after him for everything that they still do it even after he spent almost 7 months in the residential facility.  So mom and I have started our mantra.  Me Parent – You Child.  Our son has two parents and 4 siblings, not 6 parents and no siblings.

He tries hard to be good, you can see that he wants to be good.  It is just that his energy levels and attention span accentuate negative behaviour.

So any ideas about how we can convince the sibs to stop parenting?

And yes, kids, I know that you can read this.  We want you to enjoy your childhood.  No amount of yelling by you or your brothers and sisters can make his behaviours change to what we think they should be.  Please be patient with us and him as we work to adapt our lives to the needs of everyone in the household.

Even you have to admit that on his worst day now, it is still better than his worst day a year ago.