Living a life filled with fear does things to the body. I have a number of chronic health issues, and the stress from this is exacerbating those health issues. Please, if you are reading this then you have either an interest in the topic, or are experiencing it yourself. Remember these key things. It’s not your fault. The way that you feel, about yourself and your child is perfectly normal. Seek help. Talk to a therapist, a doctor, your priest or rabbi, heck, talk to Harvey the Rabbit if it helps. But talk to someone, don’t keep stuffing this. It won’t help anyone long term. Know and understand that you are not alone. There are a number of support groups both via facebook and on the Internet. If you can’t find one on your own send us a comment and we will see if we can help you find something.
What is it like to live in fear? Having never lived in a war zone, or been active in a war zone, I can’t say that our experience compares to that. What I can say is this. Living day to day on edge constantly because you don’t know from one minute to the next what your child is going to do, whether or not they are going to explode in anger, assault you, throw themselves at the wall, steal things, or try to kill the family pets will take a huge toll on you. If he is angry enough to carve on himself, to then reach into that wound and make the wound larger by tearing his own flesh with his own hands, what is he capable of doing to someone else? When a child can easily go 48 hours without sleep, it takes a toll. When you have chronic
Ironically, the day after we receive notice of denial of coverage of services for our son, is the anniversary of his placement at the current facility. It has been one year since we placed David in a facility 500 miles from home. Today, I am struggling with the stress of not knowing where we are at with my youngest son’s mental health treatment. The denial of continued care is weighing heavily on my mind, and it will be Tuesday before I can file any appeals. He deserves better than this from the system that is responsible in part for his care. When we adopted him, he was ordered by the court to have complete state sponsored medical coverage until he turns 18. This is Medicaid. It isn’t safe for anyone for him to come home. Even the staff that works with him day to day has said that. A month