The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Category Archives: antisocial personality disorder

Mark 1:11

I would say this applies to each of my kids.  But David, has needs beyond what our other kids do.

Reports for David have been great thus far at the new facility.  Does this mean that he is cured?

No.

Do I expect a cure?

No.

What I expect is for professionals to work with our son at the level that he needs, and right now, that is what the new facility is doing.  They hold him accountable for his actions, what he says, how he eats, everything.  The other really good thing, is the constant communication.  I hear from staff no less than twice a week.  His primary support person calls, his therapist calls, we have an IEP meeting coming up on Wednesday, which will be the second one, and we have a monthly staffing meeting regarding David.  In all meetings, David is included.

At this point, I am very pleased with the decision to move him there.

I miss him, everyday.  I want to hug him often.   It is a highlight of our day when he calls and talks to us.  We don’t force ourselves on him, we would rather our relationship occur with him at the pace that is comfortable for David.

Will he be coming home soon?  Not likely.  Time will tell.

Is it a vendetta? A simple letter.

My wife and I adopted a child with special needs.  I admit it freely.  I have no qualms about admitting it.  We fell in love with a little boy, and when the opportunity came to provide him a forever family, we took it. We make no apologies for doing so.

With that comes a responsibility.  It is a responsibility that comes just like it does for any natural born children.  What is it?  An expectation of love.  An expectation that the child’s parents will do everything in their power to ensure that his needs are met.  That he can receive the appropriate education guaranteed by law.

As a parent, I signed up for this.  I did so willingly and of my own volition, as did my wife.  It has been three years since my child was in public school within our community.  Not a day goes by when we haven’t wished that he could be educated in our community with his siblings.

Tell me, what parent wouldn’t fight for their child with everything they have?  What parent would just roll over and push their child freely away from them into a home without doing everything else possible?  Without fighting for that child?  Would you?

Our son is in a residential placement.  This is the third full placement, not including hospitalizations and medicine changes in his life.   Will he ever be in a place in his life where he can live at home, and attend a school with his siblings?  I don’t know.  I wish I had that answer.

So why do some people feel compelled to take their personal feelings out about this situation on my wife at her workplace?  I just don’t understand this.  It makes for a hostile work environment that doesn’t need to exist.

Why am I writing about this?

It is a simple thing really.

My bride and I have been married for 20 years.  I think I know her just about as well as anyone.  To say that this is beginning to affect her health is an understatement.

Our son’s education is protected by national law.  I will use every letter of that law to ensure that his right’s are met.  That his needs are met.

monthly staffing report – Good Stuff

Today we had our monthly update conference call for David.

When he left his previous placement he was struggling with some subjects.  Not sure if the standards are different in the new facility, but they report that he has a C average in all of his classes. He is not doing remedial work.  He is doing the work as assigned.

Part of this may have to do with the fact that his classroom is right in the residence hall.  He doesn’t go to any outside schools.  He is out of the equine therapy program until his 13th birthday.  Which is in 5 months.

He is already developing a birthday wish list.  he asked for a 12 string guitar.  Not sure where he would even seen one, but that is what he wants.

We discussed the visit last week that I had with David.  I mentioned that while I wouldn’t be happy, if David’s behavior necessitated the need to cancel the visit, then that is what would happen.  Even if I was already in Billings.  Sure, it would suck to get that far and not be able to see him, but he needs to understand that his actions have consequences.

It is hard to think that David didn’t understand consequences at his last residential placement.   All reports are that he is doing fairly well in the new placement.

As much as we miss having him close, his long term stability and behavior control is what is important.

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