Category Archives: adhd

My pain today

My pain tonight comes not from my body, road weary and tired of travel.  DSCF2182_v1

It doesn’t come from the connective tissue illness with which I have long lived.

It comes from saying good bye to David.

From leaving him behind in a far off place to be cared for by others.

My heart knows that he is in a safe place.  In honesty, he is doing very well.  Not yet consistent enough to come home.

On the other side, there is a sense of joy.  Of Gladness.  Tomorrow I will be at home with my family.  One more night of travel.

Conversations with David

David called today.  wanting to know what he could do to complete his treatment.

So I began explaining it to him.

He needs to work his treatment plan.  He needs to be safe. He needs to eat what he is fed and not refuse meals.

The thing to remember with David, is that he remembers things that he wants to remember.  If you told him two months ago that he was going to get a balloon on Thanksgiving, he would call you on Thanksgiving and ask where that balloon is.  Likewise, if you tell him a small detail like “it needs to be safe for you to return to public school”  he will remember that forever and ask about it.

David truthfully explained that he has not had any violent outbursts for a couple of months.

And he hasn’t.  This is a good thing.

That doesn’t mean it is safe for him to come home.

So I reminded him of what happened after his first major placement.  When he worked his program and then was discharged and the school refused to allow him into the building.  He wasn’t ready for them, and they weren’t ready for him. Within 6 months he was being transported to a school an hour away and within 10 months he was in his second major placement.   Having him home at the end of those 6 months was, quite frankly, hell.  He was combative and violent.  Highly aggressive to his siblings, always stealing things.

Don’t get me wrong, I miss David.  We all love him dearly.

But it needs to be safe for everyone, including David.

Somehow, I don’t think that he understands that.

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the good stuff

Dear readers, as many of you know through the writings here, David has been in residential placement.  He is on his third major placement and like 10th or 11th minor placement.  Major is facilities where he has stayed for more than 30 days, and minor are all of the others.

This past week was a fantastic week for him.  He has some residents in the facility that have been picking on him.  Rather than fighting back physically, he has chosen the power of the pen and filed a complaint.  This is the second time he has chosen this method rather than fighting.   For David this is huge and needs to be celebrated!

The other very positive thing that occurred this last week is that David moved up a level.  He is at the highest privilege level he has ever been at in this facility.

Does that mean he is coming home soon?

Sadly, no.  We will need to transition him to a facility closer to home and work on home visits and other things before that happens.  One week or two, even a month of positive behaviors doesn’t equate to discharge.  David doesn’t understand that.  Short term gains need long term results.

Incredibly enough, right now, I don’t  believe that there are any facilities that would accept him.

And that saddens me greatly.