The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Category Archives: facets of autism

how do you do it each day?

Each day moves forward without prompting.

We start when the rest of the kids leave the house.

  1.  8am – four kids off to school.
  2. 8:30 breakfast and clean up
  3. 9:00 play time
  4. 9:30 exercise period
  5. 10:00 study math
  6. 10:30 break
  7. 11:00 spelling lessons
  8. 11:30 – 1 lunch
  9. 1pm grammar and reading.
  10. 1:30pm. done for the day

For exercise we use games on the Wii. When it gets warmer, we will go outside. We also have an exercise bike.
Three times a week, we try to have an outing of some kind.  Go to the store, a cafe, bank or whatever.

Our day varies depending on his temperament and how he is responding.  Because of the severity of the ADHD, the above schedule is very flexible.  Some days we might not get started until 11am and might get done at 1.  We work when he is able to focus and function.

I try to combine some history stuff in the reading when it is available, or turn on the History Channel during his free time.  Last week we watched a show about the bottom of the ocean and how things survive.  So far this is working for him.  It is still our hope that he gets to go to public school.  We would modify his day to a level that is appropriate.  There are just some things, like social skills, that can’t be learned one on one.  A lot of the learning takes place via the computer and a number of educational websites.  This is especially true for multiplication tables and spelling lessons.

But how do you get through the day?  Will.  Each day is unique, celebrate the successes leave the failures for another time.  Even in the failures, one can find success.  We document as much as we can both positive and negative.   This is then shared with the medical and psych team.  Above all, we remember that he isn’t this way because he necessarily wants to be this way.  He is this way because of what his birth mother did.

Last week, David, in a moment of apparent clarity asked me why we kept him, and adopted him into our family.

My answer was, “you complete our family, and we loved you.  we still love you, we may not always like what you do, but we still love you.”

 

Houston, we have a successful launch

While we didn’t launch any rockets today, it was none the less, a success.  Why?

Well, David got upset because one of the sibs didn’t want to play with him.  We have a rule, that when a sib calls David’s name a certain way, then David has to stop what he is doing and come out to the living room for a few minutes.

Well, a sib called his name a number of times, and David didn’t think that he had to listen to and obey the rules.  So he ended up on time out.

Now the time out rule is that the quicker you settle down, the quicker you can return to have fun.  Normal time-out length is one minute for each year of life, but we don’t start the time out until after his is calmed down.  He ended up not being able to play for most of an hour because he wanted to do things his way.

So in the end, he had to cover his head with a blanket to eliminate external sensory input.  Plus, he had to sit quietly for 10 minutes.  In actuality, as soon as he calmed down for a couple of minutes I ended the time out. I also explained that he could have been done a long time ago, if he had obeyed the rules.

During the time he was being punished, he told me repeatedly how much he doesn’t like me and doesn’t want to live here anymore. Wanted to know why we adopted him.  Over time, I have learned to ignore this verbal attack.  After he was released from punishment, he wrote me a note apologising for his behaviour.  This is where the success lies.

He acknowledged how his behaviour affected others, and apologised for it.  That my friends is a successful day. Now, I am not going to delude myself into believing that my child with a frontal lobe brain injury is going to suddenly start recognising his behaviour consistently, or apologising for it, that would make me certifiable.  But progress is made in small steps.

It was the most amazing day!!!

Today was fabulous, our youngest son, who has OCD, ODD, Autism traits, and a Traumatic Brain Injury, as well as severe ADHD spends each day with me.  Usually we hang out at home working on school work, and playing games on the computer. Today one of my girls had an appointment in the city so he went with us.  I can honestly say that I can’t remember ever seeing him so well behaved.

He sat there with me for an hour and a half. No complaints.  This from a kid who can’t sit still for five minutes without moving around.  He claims he is feeling ok.  Not so sure about that, but it was fabulous to not have to spend even 5 minutes repeating his name over and over again trying to get him to behave.

Incredible.

Celebrate the little things!