It’s a sad reality. Our son David is mentally ill. I know it’s been a while since I last posted. So much has happened. On Feb 3, as I was driving into the city for a medical appointment, I received a call from the facility where David was. “If you don’t come and get him by 1pm, you will be charged with abandonment.” said the Clinical Director. I tried to explain that I was on my way to a medical appointment, 100 miles south of the facility. I explained that I had made arrangements to pick him up at 4pm. Not good enough. I was given the ultimatum, either pick up your son by 1pm, or be charged. As a result, I cancelled my appointment, turned around and went to pick him up. You see, he is well. Or so they believed. That’s why his peers want to kill him.
Had to restrain David tonight. He was kicking at me because I told him not to play with the cat food. Littlest things can set him off, if I had thought about how it would end, I would have let him play with the cat food. I ended up grabbing him by one arm and his opposite arm pit. Arm pit is a pressure point and immediately allows me to get him to stop what he is doing. Says that now he is going to tell everyone that I beat him. Since he was writing all over himself with a marker at school, and I made him scrub the marks off, it looks like I had a pretty good grip on him. We already have Child Protective Services coming to visit. Hopefully the PRTF bed will open next week and he will get to go there. I am utterly exhausted
I cried today. I cried while mowing my lawn. Mowing gives you time to think. The drone of the mower is perfect for masking thoughts, for allowing them a fertile breeding ground. I cried for David. For the little boy who wants so desperately to be loved, yet pushes away and punishes those who love him most, his family. I cried for the hope that is diminishing a little each day. A hope that he will see that what he is doing is wrong, and the way he treats people is wrong. I cried out in prayer. Something that I do everyday. Pray. Does God hear my prayers? I believe that he does. I believe that David was brought into our lives for a reason. Ours is not to question why. Yet we struggle daily with his behaviors, his attitude, the words he says, the things he does. We struggle.