Category Archives: acceptable practice

monsters.

I can’t fathom what people who are involved in these mass shootings are dealing with.

In truth, I pray that I never know that feeling.  That I never join the gun violence club.

What makes these people so angry that they would walk into an area and start shooting people?

I don’t know what the solution is, but if history shows us anything, simply outlawing firearms isn’t the answer.  Look at what happened during Prohibition.  If people want the guns, they will get them.  During Prohibition, people wanted alcohol.  And for the most part the average law abiding citizen followed the law.  But those who wanted the alcohol found a loophole or two to get what they wanted, didn’t they?  I am not saying that alcohol and firearms are the same thing.

News reports state that most of the weapons used in the attack in California were purchased legally.  Doesn’t make it right.

it would be irrational of me to say that we shouldn’t have a conversation about firearms.  How do we protect people from themselves and each other?  Can we do so?

How long before someone begins to question who is behind all of these seemingly random attacks?  One of the shooters in the attack in California recently visited Saudi Arabia.  Is visiting one of the middle east countries a mark of a terrorist?

In the coming weeks, months and years we will see an increase in the rhetoric used to discuss the pros and cons of stricter gun laws.  NRA will spend more money, other organizations will try to match those funds.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all just sit at a table and discuss this rationally?

On the other hand, if everyone was acting rationally, we wouldn’t need to have the conversation in the first place, or would we?

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Now is the time – For a National Conversation about Mental Health

Now is the time for a National Conversation regarding mental health.  With our congressional leaders in Washington, D.C., we may have difficulty getting on the dais.  Why? Because an individual presenting testimony to any committee regarding Mental Health, may not always speak to the same platform as varying members of Congress.

What does that mean?

Most of the members of Congress appear to follow the party line.  In order to effectively foster legislation to enhance the care that the mentally ill receive, we need to be able to reach across all party lines.

It isn’t a Red or Blue issue.  It is a human issue. Those who live with mental illness need regular, consistent and substantive help, not just when they are in crisis.

We shouldn’t use the mentally ill to gain votes.

In reading the proposed Murphy Bill H.R. 2646, there are many things I find disturbing.  One of the big things I find disturbing is the section regarding Protection and Advocacy.  Why would you limit the ability of Protection and Advocacy agencies to help the mentally ill?  Abuse and Neglect aren’t the only two areas where this population is in need of assistance.

Representative Murphy, I would welcome the opportunity to speak with you or one of your bill’s co-sponsors.  I don’t know what the answers are.  I don’t know that your legislation is or isn’t the answer.  What I do know is that we aren’t doing enough.  What I do know is that your bill jeopardizes many things that the American’s with Disabilities Act grants.

House Speaker Paul Ryan had it right when he called for Congress to address mental health issues.  On that we can agree.

 

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No Services Required – CPS Investigation Results

This week, I learned the results of the latest Child and Protective Services (CPS) investigation.

Because of allegations made by David, we believe he was attempting to manipulate the system to get to live where he wants rather than at home, there was a complaint made against me.  The complaint said that I “was exploiting my son, that I threw him to the sidewalk, that I hugged him too much, as well as told him “I love you”,  and that I was antagonizing him to provoke a response.”  I wrote about it when I first learned of the investigation.  Remember?  There was an investigation before that regarding washing David’s mouth out with soap.

Initially when the complaint in October came out, I met with a detective from the Sheriff’s office.  From that meeting, I stated that I would change my son’s name to David for the purposes of this blog.  That the whole purpose of writing was to get help for him, and to raise awareness about the mental health care in our state.  At that point, I thought that the whole thing was over.  Evidently the Sheriff was a separate investigation because CPS called and arranged to meet me.

Now, I have no idea for certain who made the complaint, though I do have a pretty good idea.  These are the people we turned to for help when David was threatening to kill me.  People who told us that we weren’t doing enough at home to help him.

See, when someone files a complaint, as required by law, the complainant remains anonymous.  In a court of law, I have the right to face my accuser, but not in the court of Child and Protective Services.  I understand why that is. I understand the need for mandatory reporters.

I don’t envy the job of the investigators who work in that department.  Seriously.  The things they must see.

Anyway, we met with the investigator more than 10 days ago.  We were told that my case would be staffed 8 days ago, and that I would hear back from them on Monday, this week, whether or not services were required.  If services were required, I would then be placed on a list of people who abuse and/or neglect children.  I would be on that list for a period of 10 years.  I could appeal the decision.  If I had been on that list, I wouldn’t be able to work with or around children for that whole period.

Any way.  Monday came and went with no call.  Tuesday came and went with no call.  Wednesday, I called their office and asked about the decision.  I was told “I was just getting ready to call you, it was determined that no services were required, though we recommend that you not use pressure point holds on your son.”    They further went on to state that they would send out a letter regarding this investigation, that the results would be on file for a period, and that they would include recommendations on things to do instead of the pressure point holds.  I use the pressure point holds when I felt that David was becoming violent or aggressive.  I never used them for longer than necessary to calm the situation.  Usually seconds, in which case he would drop whatever he was holding in his hand that could potentially be used as a weapon.

I have not received the letter yet.  I imagine it will get here in the next ten days.

Investigators, if you say that you are going to call on a certain date to inform someone of the results of the investigation, please, make every effort to do so, or have someone from your office do it for you.  I should have been able to get the results of your investigation the day that your agency made the decision that services weren’t required.

I get that your job is difficult.

You know what?  So is parenting a child like David.

Part of me feels like I should just be thankful that this investigation is over.

On the other hand, I feel like I have been targeted or harassed because I speak out against what I see are injustices in the mental health care system.  If you don’t like what I write, don’t read it.  If I am inaccurate in what I write, let me know the inaccuracies, the corrections you believe should be made, and I will look into it.  This part of me also wonders, “how long before they bring more allegations against me?  or his mom?”

Don’t make me feel like a failure because the system fails the mentally ill more than it helps them.  Help me change the system so this blog is no longer needed to raise awareness of the injustices of the current system.

I would love to never write another word about the mental health issues as they are.  I would love to write about parenting issues of another type entirely.  Like what to cook for dinner, or how to clean pet stains out of a rug.

I find it incredibly sad that there are people in this world who make an agency like CPS necessary.  See, as a kid, I was abused.  And I swore that I would never do that to my kids.  And I haven’t.  No child deserves to live in fear.

I don’t know.  Maybe I just don’t understand David’s fear.  A fear that makes him express so much hatred toward his family.  Such is the world of the child with Reactive Attachment Disorder.  It isn’t enough that we love him and call him our son.  I never claimed that we were the perfect parents.  Many times over the life of this blog, and our son’s life we have asked for help.