We had David’s monthly staffing today. It is always our strongest hope that he will do well each month that he is there.
He is doing well, but then he always does well in facility based care. He gets the things that he wants, he has staff around him all the time to support him. He has access to mini-bikes, horses, a pool with a water slide, new clothes and shoes whenever he wants them. All things we don’t have access to at home. Except clothes. We can do clothes. Just not the name brand stuff he prefers. Nike, Adidas and others.
My readers may remember last summer and the struggles we went through with David. To ensure the safety of the whole family, including David. The incident when he tried to crash our van, to where he threatened to kill me with a piece of wood, to where he tried to hit me with a shovel. We were told that we weren’t doing enough, so we ramped up services for him. In home therapy once a week, increased mentor hours and a lot of mileage to take him to appointments and therapies. Our fear is having to relive those events in any way.
Today they said that he should be home before winter.
Where does that leave the family? I have two other kids at home yet that I am concerned about. Plus my bride and I. There is more at risk here than what these people understand.
Sure he is doing well. now. he always does.
With the budget cuts in the state of North Dakota, mentor hours have been cut, not sure yet about in home therapy. The staffing that he needs isn’t available where we live, or any where else for that matter.
Do I want him to come home? Honestly? Yes. and. No. Yes, because he is my son. No because it is dangerous.
Earlier this week we had an evaluation done by a renowned specialist in Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. We hope to have the results of his analysis next week. He did say that David needs long term support. That we need to think 10 years ahead. So our dreams revolve around what happens. In three short years David will be an adult. What happens then?
10 Years from now, I would like him to be living independently with supports. I would like to see him working a job.
My fear is that one day David will be out, and do something that requires interaction with law enforcement. They won’t understand what they are dealing with, because they won’t KNOW what they are dealing with. And he will be killed.
I have to approach this like a risk assessment. Balance the pros and cons. Sure he deserves the chance to try, but doesn’t the rest of the family deserve the continued freedom from a constant threat of violence and fear?