The answer should be yes. Not "how can I get my loved one help?"

Tag Archives: attitude

An attitude for breakfast?

fixing quirksFull on attitude from David this morning.  He sees his potential placement in a residential facility as a badge of honor.

I wish that he could understand how hard he is on the rest of the family.  Especially when he talks about how much he can’t wait to go to residential because they will let him do things that we can’t.

Frustrating to his mother and I.

While it is a relief to the family stress level that he is in a center, it is never a happy time.  We make the best of the situation because that is what is best for David.  Doesn’t mean that we like it.

This mornings attitude was brought to us by “I didn’t get enough cereal for breakfast and don’t want to ask for more.”

He makes excuses for his behavior.  “I didn’t have any more milk, so I couldn’t ask for more cereal.”

The old standby reason for not asking? – “You would have said no.”

“You guys suck as parents and I can’t wait to go to treatment.”

“They treat me better in treatment and that’s where I want to live.”

“You hate me.  That’s why you treat me like this.”  (I was making him fix up his bedding rather than leaving tossed all over the room.

Just another day in the family I guess.  Fifteen minutes of breakfast family time shot because of his attitude. I don’t know.  See, it wouldn’t be so bad, but this kind of thing happens frequently in our house.  If it was just us and David, I would deal with it, but we also have two other kids in the home.  Both have Autism on some level.  They don’t need this, so often retreat to their rooms.  Then David always wants to know why they are never around.

He wonders why we have the “center of attention” chair for him to sit in.

For the record David, when you read this later in life, we have more milk.  Some days, you just seem to enjoy causing heartache.

wishes and dreams

keep-talking-about-mental-healthI dream of a time when we don’t have to worry about him as much as we do.  Granted as a parent, part of us will always worry about our kids, but when you have a child like David, it is increased ten fold, a hundred fold.

Today he came home from the mental health unit.  We didn’t even get out of the hospital before he was starting with behavior.  Playing with the elevator, not listening, moving things around that were on a shelf.  You know, child like behavior, and in some cases behavior of typical teen.  I get it, I do.  But considering where we had just come from, one would think that he would be on his very best behavior.

I made a quick stop to pick up a part, and instructed him to not touch anything while I was in the store.  Came out to find he had rifled through the papers I had in the car.

Took him to get a haircut.  See, one of things that was reported is that we are pulling his hair.  I had his head shaved.  Since he likes to move around when getting his haircut, I had it done professionally so that he can’t say that I hurt him while cutting his hair.  (I used to do it all of the time, not any more).

I feel like I can’t discipline my kid.  If I go near him he acts like I am beating him and says “what are you going to do?  Beat me?”

What I have done is created “the center of attention”.

This is a chair that he can sit on.  Every time he does something to “be the center of attention” the chair is placed close to me, and he has to sit there looking at me. It creeps me out, but I don’t know what else to do.  I ask him not to do something, and he does it any way.  I ask him to do something and he refuses to do it.  I tell him that he can’t do something, like stand at attention, and he stands at attention.

I feel like I am losing my mind.

Oh and he says that he can’t wait for Child and Protective Services to come visit. I wish that I could better tolerate him when he is pushing.  Of course, I need to pick my battles.

I’ll beat you with this shovel

flat blade shovelHeck of a title for this post.

Last evening, my son stormed out of the house in anger.

I waited about 20 minutes before going after him.  I thought it would give him time to cool down.

Not to be.

He started throwing things out of the cars, so I worked my way through them to lock the doors and make sure things were where they were supposed to be.

As I got to the last one, he began threatening me.

He had a basketball that he kept throwing down the street, so I took it and put it in the garage.  He went and got it.  So, I am ashamed to admit, I deflated the ball.

I didn’t acknowledge him in any way during this period.

I was working on moving a vintage sewing machine into our house, when he grabbed a shovel and threatened to beat me with it.

He swung at me and hit the sewing machine cabinet a number of times, causing deep gouges in the finish.   All that I said to him was that I loved him more than the sewing machine.

He attacked a trailer sitting in the yard.  He threatened to break out the windows on his grandfathers van and his mom’s car.  At this point, I called the Sheriff.

I have audio record of the events of last evening.

It saddens me to say that I had to order one of the other kids back into the house because of David and his rampage.

Before the Sheriff Deputies arrive, David grabbed a piece of wood and stabbed our swimming pool.  Threatened to do that to me.

The Sheriff got here, and talked with David.  He, of course, blamed his mother and I.    The Deputy made the determination to commit David to psychiatric unit for the night.  While David rode with the Deputy, I followed in the van so I could complete the paperwork.

Pretty sad when the staff at the psych unit know your son by name and reputation.   Will they do anything?  likely not.  we will get between 2 and 5 days.

He will deny the events from last evening.  He will deny threatening me.  He will deny saying “I would rather slice my own throat than hug you.”

I will protect my family.

I have to say thank you to my eldest son.  As I was walking out of the house after retrieving my keys, he could see I was upset.  He stopped me, wrapped his arms around me and said “it will be okay.”

It is heartbreaking to have your son threaten you like this.  Until you have experienced it, you really have no idea.  To face down someone holding a shovel in a threatening manner and have them say “I will beat you with this shovel” is just mind numbing.  I don’t know any other way to describe it.  I was pretty emotional.  I didn’t cry while I was facing him down.  there is no shame in admitting, I was scared.

I don’t hate David.  I love him dearly, he is my son.  I was a lot like him at 14.  Full of anger.  I see the potential that he doesn’t see in himself.

Want to know his biggest concern about being in psychiatric care for evaluation?  He will miss time with his mentor/staff person on Saturday unless he gets out of the hospital on Friday.